The Pitch for TV’s First Pimple-Popping Series
Billie Jean squeezes the pimple on Jane's back and the white oily insides explode. The release is orgasmic, and the girls decide they can be pop stars.
Tag: Health
Finally! A Fall Beauty Routine That Isn’t Rubbing Dead Leaves on Your Face
As the air gets colder, your face is going to start to dry up like a raisin. Here's how to keep that youthful glow without some ridiculous ritual involving dead leaves.
Requests for My Make-A-Wish Bachelor Party
Dear Make-A-Wish Foundation, I've recently been given three weeks to live. Because I am 12 and have not yet experienced a bachelor party, here is my list of requests.
5 Signs Your Dog Wants to Go Vegetarian
These behaviors are your dog's way of telling you she wants to become a vegetarian. After all, there's no chance canines are actually biologically programmed to eat meat.
How Would You Rate Yourself as a Person From One to Chick-fil-A Employee?
By setting such an unattainable standard for human behavior and existence, Chick-fil-A workers reveal just how miserably inferior the rest of us are.
I Think I’m Going to Start Working Out Again, Just as Soon as Someone Pries Me Out of This Tube Slide
Does metabolism really have anything to do with taking off your shirt, screaming "I want to feel alive!" and diving face first into a 360-degree twisted tube slide?
Feel Good Grub, The Ice Cream for Emotionally Unstable People
Whether you're getting through a tough breakup, have low self-esteem, or just lack self control, Feel Good Grub is perfect for piggy little stress eaters like you.
A Not-So-Routine Checkup with the Doctor in My Fever Dream
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.
Please Donate to Hurricane Maria Victims, And While You’re at It, Throw a Couple Bucks at My Kickstarter
Please take a moment to donate to Hurricane Irma relief, and while you're at it, throw a couple bucks at the Kickstarter for my Flappy Bird-meets-Candy Crush app "Clint the Climber."
I Asked 10 Doctors About This Thing On My Neck—Here’s What They Said!
"It's taking up a third of your neck and appears to have green veins extending from it. This can't be good." -Dr. Jennifer Miller, DDS
If You Suffer From Moderate to Severe Arthritis, This Drug is Going to Change Your Goddamn Life
Ask your doctor if Gamora is right for you. If your doctor says it is, wow, that’s a pretty ballsy doctor you've got there. I mean, this shit can literally kill you.
The Embarrassing Origin of the Douchiest Gym Word Ever
The barbwire tattoo around this douchebag's arm essentially screamed, "None of my shirts have sleeves and I punch walls when I get insecure about my small penis!"