A Not-So-Routine Checkup with the Doctor in My Fever Dream
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.
Tag: Health
Please Donate to Hurricane Maria Victims, And While You’re at It, Throw a Couple Bucks at My Kickstarter
Please take a moment to donate to Hurricane Irma relief, and while you're at it, throw a couple bucks at the Kickstarter for my Flappy Bird-meets-Candy Crush app "Clint the Climber."
I Asked 10 Doctors About This Thing On My Neck—Here’s What They Said!
"It's taking up a third of your neck and appears to have green veins extending from it. This can't be good." -Dr. Jennifer Miller, DDS
If You Suffer From Moderate to Severe Arthritis, This Drug is Going to Change Your Goddamn Life
Ask your doctor if Gamora is right for you. If your doctor says it is, wow, that’s a pretty ballsy doctor you've got there. I mean, this shit can literally kill you.
The Embarrassing Origin of the Douchiest Gym Word Ever
The barbwire tattoo around this douchebag's arm essentially screamed, "None of my shirts have sleeves and I punch walls when I get insecure about my small penis!"
Take Your Eyes Off Twitter and Do Your Fucking Lifeguarding Job!
A new problem is on the rise in this techie world of ours: lifeguards texting at public pools. Get the hell off your phone and back to your minimum wage toil!
The Top 4 Crown Fried Chickens in Philly to Puke In
So you're way too drunk in Philly, huh? That second 40-ounce is coming back up as a sacrifice to the porcelain gods? Head to one of these Crown Fried Chickens.
Six Ways to Get Jacked, Sponsored by Dunkin’ Donuts Energy Punch
Dunkin' Donuts Energy Punch mixes the sugar and caffeine of a can of Monster Energy with the additional sugar of Coolata syrup. Talk about a jolt!
Son, You Should Expect to See Your Grandma Get Hurt Soon
You love your grandparents more than your regular parents, which is why you need to prepare yourself when they break a body part right in front of you.
Why I Switched to the Tent-Based Menstruation System
That's right, women used to spend their menstrual cycle in a tent, free from all men and sanitation. After testing, I agree, it's a bloody great idea.
Welcome to The Wachowski Home for Unremarkable Orphans
At The Wachowski Home, we believe that each of our orphans is generic and unremarkable in their own unoriginal way. Join us for basic living standards and practical preparation.
10 Tips for Leading a Balanced Lifestyle
Leading a balanced life is difficult. But with a little bit of hope, patience, understanding, and a simple reading of this article, I can help you achieve it!