My Kid Has Usurped My Wife’s Breasts
I love Gabe. He's half me. And I’m sure that fact has something to do with his literal clinginess to Kristina's quadruple-D, turn-to-see milk-pillows.
Tag: Health
If You’ve Only Got One Arm, You’re Not Typically the Kind of Guy Who’s Gonna Be a Hollywood Actor
Bjarne says that there are so many other guys out there with two arms that it puts you at a big disadvantage if you only have one.
12 Things to Assure Your Seasonal Holiday Depression Kicks In
Remember, every log you place on the fire would undoubtedly be screaming if it had a voice.
North Pole CDC Report: 13 Worst Reindeer STDs
Any reindeer that have seen graphic photos of the horrific effects of Red Nose Waffle or Silver Balls know it's nothing to mess with.
Our Medication May Kill You, But It’s Not For Sure (Ok, It’s For Sure)
While this medication may be swallowed, it may also be used as a suppository, although after ingestion, please immediately finish your living will.
How to Reinvent the Playboy Mansion for Seniors
Now that Scott Baio is 56, it's time to start making the Playboy mansion safer and more enjoyable for aging dirty old men.
5 Sample Food Dreams for Eating Less During the Day
At REM Diet Therapy Associates, we program you to dream of your favorite goodies so you wake up satisfied, and eat measurably less in daytime!
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump’s Health Records Revealed
An unaltered leak of presidential candidate Donald Trump's most recent health evaluation. The information has been transposed unaltered.
14 Things to Ask a Woman BEFORE Asking Her When She Plans on Getting Pregnant
If you'd like to ask about a woman's plans for creating a miniature human being, you should first know everything about her situation. Here's what to ask.
7 Ways to Properly Manage Stress
When life seems overwhelming, it's important to remind yourself that there must be articles out there to help. Somewhere.
A Young Man’s First Period
Even as an 8-year-old boy, I knew that having my period would make me a man; it was the first step to becoming an adult.
8 Things Every Voice in My Head Knows to Be True
If you’re one of the myriad auditory hallucinations that plague me day and night, you know these things all too well.