An Ode to Being Fat
As someone fat enough it would take even 19th century sailors a few years at sea to be tricked into fucking, I'd like to pause and reflect on the silver lining of being fat.
Tag: Health
8 Steps to Overcoming Your Anxiety, Hopefully
This guide will help you more than therapy, medication, or discussing your anxiety problem with family and friends, who probably need mental help more than you.
10 Less-Popular Relaxation Soundscapes
Sure, most people find birds chirping and rain falling to be relaxing, but what about the whackos who prefer more unusual background sounds like Jenga blocks falling?
How Anilingus Can Cure the Obesity Epidemic
When there is a distinct possibility that you are going to have your ass licked later in the day, you become a lot more conscience of what you eat.
Anatomy of Men’s Health Magazine
Well done, Bill Phillips, Men's Health editor-in-chief, you did it. You figured out the perfect combination of repetitive nonsense that keeps me coming back for more.
Can I Put My Penis There?
Ever wondered whether it's ok to put your penis in the freezer, in the couch, or in your neighbor's manger scene? Miraculously, all those answers are right here.
A Stoner’s Translation to the Benefits of Vaporizing
I get asked a lot why I prefer using a vaporizer, because I'm high as fuck all the time, and people assume there must some solid stoner logic.
“Those Aren’t My Jarred Feces”
Now that tampons aren't allowed in the Texas Senate, here is how I imagine the conversation went when a bag inspector lifted a jar of poo from a citizen's purse.
5 Reasons It’s Your Parents’ Fault You’re Fat
If the conditions that make you fat or skinny, exercise-addict or couch-potato, can be traced back to conditions out of your control, then who's fault is it? Your parents'.
How to Know If Your Neighbor is a Psychopath
Have you ever wanted to burn your neighbor's fucking house down? Here's how you can tell if you have to worry about one of them doing the same.
What to Expect From Your Fat Stoner Roommate
Fat stoners are funny in stoner comedies and in line at Taco Bell, but they aren't good roommates. Here's what to expect if you make the terrible decision to live with one.
Stent Removal: The Worst Pain Your Penis Will Ever Endure
The average male has no idea that a stent removal will be the most painful, emotionally scarring experience in their life. All the best to you and your penis, sir.