Stent Removal: The Worst Pain Your Penis Will Ever Endure
The average male has no idea that a stent removal will be the most painful, emotionally scarring experience in their life. All the best to you and your penis, sir.
Tag: Health
Living With Glaucoma: What to Expect From Your First Marijuana Treatment
After consuming your marijuana or other THC-laced product, find a comfortable seat in your residence and prepare for a flood of serotonin.
Three Shitty Products Masquerading as Food
When I think of food, I don't think of a rectangular chunk that looks like a gargoyle with a square asshole shit it out. Or a meal that looks like a bunch of scabs swimming in a puddle of whale semen.
So You Pooped Your Pants: 7 Steps to Cleaning Up
Unfortunately for you, your underpants (if you're wearing them), and those around you (if there are people around), you just shat yourself. Don't worry, we've all been there before.
Half Cuban, 100% White
I'm a halfie: my mother is Cuban and my father is American. I'm not brown, I'm not white… I'm fucking khaki. And it sucks. Here's why.
Quarterlife Auto-Immune Syndrome
Jeff walks me around his car, his hands tucked in his pockets, examining the vehicle with a detached vigilance, searching for the source of his troubles. Clearly, it goes beyond the car itself.
The Genitals of the Future
<p><em>Today I have for you some comedy sloppy seconds. I submitted a piece to the comedy website McSweeney's, but I guess it wasn't pseudo-intellectual enough or whatever. Here it is, you be the judge. </em></p><p><strong>The Genitals of the Future<br />by Paul Frank</strong></p>
The Mini-Skirt Squirts
If you think dining hall grub smells bad freshly cooked, imagine a girl, in a mini-skirt, in the middle of class, in the middle of the row, who just shit herself.
The Ten Fattest States in the Union (And the Foods That Got Them There)
<p><img src="/files/u2/junk-food-platter.jpg" alt="Junk food platter" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="200" height="257" align="right" />Back when I first started writing for this site there were no iPhones, New Orleans had never been destroyed, and PIC Fearless Leader Court Sullivan had the same haircut he has today.
Having Sex With My Girlfriend on Her Period
Even though my ex was constantly in the mood for sex, I willfully abstained through her first four periods. Then we hit the bloody sheets.
Asian Massage Parlor & Spa Guide to a Happy Ending
I enter an Asian massage spa parlor near me for sex and my mind is flooded with thoughts: How much does this cost? Do I get a handjob? Is it illegal?
How to Use Your Brain to Get Laid (The Cerebellum)
Modern research tells us the cerebellum controls cognitive functions like attention, language, and music - 3 key ingredients in getting laid.