This Zoom Catch-Up Seems Like the Perfect Opportunity to Humblebrag About Why I’m Not Eligible for the Vaccine Yet
I’ve got a six-pack and hands that are strong but somehow also soft. Does that seem like someone who needs the vaccine right now?
I’ve got a six-pack and hands that are strong but somehow also soft. Does that seem like someone who needs the vaccine right now?
We researched it, okay? This wasn’t some half-ass throw on a scarf and call yourself Edna, intro-to-theatre-101 skit.
The first time you met him, he left you wanting more. Despite knowing he's been with dozens of other people, you're not threatened.
We don’t care about fingernails. Well, we kind of care that they’re clean, but we don’t file, buff, color, or cover them up with fake nails.
The first time you touched me, it was like you read the instruction manual on how to make my water boil.
What does your couch give you that I don’t?
Some of you seem to be using this platform for what my psychologist, Dr. Winter, has identified as attention-seeking behavior.
All I wanted to do is continue the progression of time the way it has been going for all of fucking history. But suddenly the pandemic's MY fault?
Are you… still buying kale? Please tell me I’m not the only one. Oh God, I have so much kale.
Feels like they should've spent a little more time on the formula. / Urgently being shipped to nursing homes in the South.
Instructor Kate knows you won’t make it past two months on this bike, but she also knows you need her positive energy to have any chance at all.
I will eat at a restaurant alone, as long as I can tell a friend to show up ten minutes after I’m seated and join me.