Health | Page 8 | Points in Case

Tag: Health

Thanks to you, our novel species of intelligent beings may roam these brown leather lands and pray to the red flannel ass above.

For too long, we have ignored the very real threat that COVID-19 can survive in and be spread through ectoplasm.

You didn’t wake up to be mediocre. That’s the job of the deadbeat still sleeping in your bed.

Next time, consider delivering in a Lyft, the cereal aisle at your grocery store, or during your yoga class. Claim denied.

The guy who told me he’d help me move, then stole my iconic Mallrats pin and puka shell necklace so he could more easily pretend to be me.

Geoff’s been out here slingin’ Coors Light at double-A ballgames for longer than most of these white coat jokers been alive.

We would like to apologize to some of our team members for leaving them off our initial list: Kyle in shipping, our office temp Brayden, and Aquaman.

You don't really believe the peeing in bottles thing do you? If that were true, these blankets wouldn't be so soft and comforting.

I’ve got a six-pack and hands that are strong but somehow also soft. Does that seem like someone who needs the vaccine right now?

We researched it, okay? This wasn’t some half-ass throw on a scarf and call yourself Edna, intro-to-theatre-101 skit.

The first time you met him, he left you wanting more. Despite knowing he's been with dozens of other people, you're not threatened.

We don’t care about fingernails. Well, we kind of care that they’re clean, but we don’t file, buff, color, or cover them up with fake nails.