Hell | Points in Case

Tag: Hell

Just over and over again, and it’s been like three hours. Or possibly thousands of years, time sort of has no meaning here.

Anti-Christ. Bizarro-God. The Divinaughty. Providen’t. The horn in horny. The original Pitchfork Media. The devil you know.

I have discovered that which can destroy you! Your name, demon! And I know your name… uh… man.

"What’s your schedule?" Exorcism is a nonstop, 24/6 career and the Devil loves dropping in unannounced, so you’ll want your exorcist on-call.

Providing difficult choices among terrible options is—like with cable TV—in keeping with Hell’s overall philosophy of customer dissatisfaction.

Fool me three times, there’s a little bit of shame to go around here. Admittedly, maybe I should have caught on to your character by now.

Work Anniversaries: See your manager for a token of our appreciation—a homemade coupon for one (1) weak handshake.

We want to extend our deepest gratitude to you for believing in our potato chips. Those other people who didn’t buy our chips can go right to hell.

Q: I don't seem to be getting any other emails besides the reply-all thread. Can you fix that? A: Great question! Again, sorry, but no.

Did you know that exactly 12.5% of the characters are frowning? Or that 20.8% have rosy cheeks? I did.

Our goal is that incoming demons feel terrified and resentful as we prepare them for a dark future of inflicting l pain upon mortals.

I'll cut to the chase. The tunnel was too long and the light at the end was not bright enough.