So You Want to Be the Devil’s Advocate
Must have a very strong bladder. We don't have many public restrooms here in Hell, and you will almost certainly have to wait in line.
Tag: Hell
The Sad Tale of the Inflatable Wacky Tube Man
"We have orders from the city to remove that thing from your property. Effective immediately.” He pointed toward the Inflatable Wacky Tube Man.
I’m the Founder of “Word of the Day” Calendar and I Feel Vexation and Chagrin
Even with the annual surge in profits from last-minute gifting for Mother’s and Father’s Days, this year has left us bereft and impecunious.
Hi, It’s Me, the Other Mayor Running for President
Mayor Pete is a former Navy officer, a Harvard grad, and speaks 7 foreign languages. However, as the owner of a Ford dealership on State Route 15.
You Bet Your Ass This is the Most Patriotic Carrot Salad You’ve Ever Eaten
This salad only has three ingredients: carrots, mayonnaise, and American elbow grease.
Junior Level Wonka.com Hacker Secrets Revealed
I wasn’t ever good enough to win a high score, but I found my satisfaction in changing these poor kids’ passwords so they could never log in and play.
Identifying Fauxpreneurs in the Wild
Fauxpreneurs believe if you’re not on the ‘gram, you will never become a unicorn. Look for at least three pictures per day showing her “hustling."
Rejected “Dark Phoenix” Poster Concepts by Someone Who Clearly Never Saw the Movie
Executive Producer: I don’t quite understand. What exactly is the “lone phoenix”? Are you talking about Sophie Turner’s character? Marketer: Hm?
If Fighting Climate Change Means Slowing Down the Surging Wild Pig Population, Count Me Out
Good news… feral pigs are now in 39 states. Thank you, climate change! You spoil us with this superabundance of invasive swines.
Mr. Peanut Addresses His 23andMe Results
For years you’ve trusted me as the man/peanut hybrid from uncertain origins who loved one thing and one thing alone: selling Planter’s Peanuts.
There’s a Monster Living in My Butt and He Won’t Let Me Eat Dairy
He sounded just like Danny DeVito. He spun in a circle three times fast and jumped right back up in my butt-hole. I didn't even feel it.
If the Earth Really is Warming, Why is My Wife Still Leaving Me?
The eggheads at NASA say that last year was the fourth hottest on record, and yet a polar vortex of Arctic proportions has descended upon my bedroom.