Hell | Page 25 | Points in Case

Tag: Hell

The only thing that stops a bad kid with a dream is a good fully grown adult with a Twitter account. Please heed these social media tips.

This week’s tarantula would have proven less challenging if we had found it straight away, rather than four hours later during Tina’s sleepover.

What if I told you that I’ve got four laptop computers on my person at this very moment? Because that’s the reality of the situation.

Somebody will watch in confusion as a frustrated Jim Carrey thrusts his torso to explain where the parking garage’s car elevator will go.

The jar banged off the window and now burning, fancy French grease is everywhere! Thank you Vicky! Thank you so much for closing all the windows!

"But look after I beat the display game, I found my kid and bought an entire shelf of Legos out of guilt. Okay?" ---Victor Andrade (Wichita, KS)

The grass is sparse and mowed sporadically at best, and the soil tastes flat. The view is fine, but nearby freeway noise is deafening.

To: Juliet Miller <mjuliet@gmail.com> Subject: Your Last Chance to Get Up On This

A master ball isn’t gonna do it, dumbass. It’s gonna take a brand sponsorship and widespread public interest in your day-to-day bullshit.

You will recall laughing after I cautioned that I had once confessed to a priest only to watch him go straight to hell. I do not recall laughing.

When the lives of countless transgender children are at stake, I've no choice but to raise aloft my twin sai and declare, "Fearmongers, beware!"

For six years I've preached the dangers of sins of the flesh, during which time the devil lured me into oiled-up twinks, otters, and glitter-daddies.