Hell | Page 7 | Points in Case

Tag: Hell

I feel like Elvis when he returned to Graceland after 40 years of guiding climbers as a Sherpa in Tibet. That didn’t happen, but you get the point.

I am a swim coach for kids. That’s right, I spend my shifts in a cesspool of germs and boogers.

"A badass mama protects her child! Your belly will be full of pilates-toned gristle and blond hair after you’ve mauled Cassie from your mom group."

I’d ask someone to save me from this giant octopus, but how do I know their hands aren’t contaminated?

The 2 things I love most are corduroys with ridges so deep that you can slide a can of Coors Light in there, and making sure my son thinks I’m cool.

You should know that the only reason I’m smiling right now is because that’s all you’ve taught me to do.

3. How often are you an asshole? I would say whenever I’m conscious, but I can be fairly verbally abusive in my dreams.

xBB/PPInn(Astros-VPonly): Number of beanballs or brushbacks per game vs. Astros hitters thrown by pitchers who pitched against Houston in 2017-19.

Well, there was a court in my future, just not the one I had in mind.

He's targeting young people voting in their first elections, but we have to convince him that “Virgin Voters for Biden” is not how we want to brand.

To keep you safe on long interstate drives, Mother's Gap Lane Assist simulates a choking gasp from your mother’s throat when you veer out of lane.

Janice and Mark’s whisper-fights about their upcoming incomplete wedding plans. They’ve been engaged for 7 years now.