Password Recovery Questions Written by Beth, Your High School Frenemy
What was the number of the locker where I left you anonymous notes saying you’d be pretty if you washed your face?
Tag: High School
Your School District’s Superintendent Introduces His Top Ten New Substitute Teachers
Our Tallest 2nd Grader: I mean, have you seen this kid? He can even spell “tyrannosaur.” Anyway, he’ll be teaching AP Bio.
Things I Would Say to My Crush If I Woke Up Back in High School
"I didn't really think this one through. I'm stuck here in this pre-Y2K past. I now have homework again and two presentations next week!"
Gifts from a Childhood Friend That Hint at Long Simmering Resentments
A hammock. Hanna, you know a hammock is a death trap because you laughed hysterically when I fell out of one in 7th grade at Trevor’s birthday party.
Teenage Squid Games
Going forward, we’ll tap into the pre-made horror of adolescence. A time the healthiest among you have repressed.
Mr. Bones Bares All About Life as a Skeleton in the Modern Classroom
Teaching has a way of working you down to the bone. And, frankly, I’m tired. Bone tired.
A Tribute to Mr. Thompson: Teacher, Mentor, Possible Necromancer
It was never clear what subject he was supposed to be teaching, since on our schedules it was spelled in mysterious runes that burned your eyes.
An Obituary for All the Fucks I Had to Give
All My Fucks graduated from Shame University in 1998 with high honors.
Your Very Real 7th Grade Secret Admirer
The card was so lovely, but unfortunately, I can’t show you it because there was a fire at my desk.
I Haven’t Left My Room Since March and Now the Demon Who Lives Under My Bed Has a UTI
With each passing day, her resolve grows weaker. She begins to wonder if the girl above will once again leave her in peace.
An Open Letter to the Director of This Year’s Nightmares
Compared to 2020’s real-life plague, threat of fascist coup, and so on, your work has suffered from a lack of terrifying imagination.
The Stories Behind the Story Behind Dan Fogelberg’s “Same Old Lang Syne”
When I hear this song, I remember how Krakenfuss kept her grocery store open on Christmas Eve. She was the richest person in town and the meanest.