It’s Important That Teachers Come Together and Cyberbully Trevor, Who Has Always Been an Asshole
Or the time that he got the whole school to chant "Mr. O’Brien is a virgin" when I was doing announcements during the assembly?
Tag: High School
Horoscopes from Your Mother
As your Venus begins to fade you may be feeling like you're losing control of your life. A man can really help with that.
Tattoos You Got at 18 Because You Didn’t Have a Personality Yet
“Live, Laugh, Love” in Cursive: Are you a human or the wall clock I bought from the Home Goods clearance section?
A Love Letter to Ugly Cars Everywhere
Looking like the way a six-year-old might try to draw a sports car? Quirky! The sound system that consisted of maybe two buttons total? Great
Exam for the New Government-Issued License to Be an Asshole
3. How often are you an asshole? I would say whenever I’m conscious, but I can be fairly verbally abusive in my dreams.
Not to Play Devil’s Advocate but Here Is a Factually Incorrect Point
What was I saying? Oh, when you were talking about racism, I agree with that. Well, sort of. I mean I agree that racism used to exist, which is bad.
A Valedictorian Speech Composed Entirely of Staircase-Wit Comebacks
I wish I had said that. Instead, I broke into an ugly cry and stumbled from the room, having jammed a big toe on the life-sized skeleton model.
Help, My Life Has Become a Backdoor Pilot!
No one cared about me. The main story suddenly became Hannibal's unique style of investigation and vague allusions to a troubled past.
An Obituary Writer Attempts to Win His Wife Back
Marilyn Brewster was surrounded by loved ones including her beautiful, perfect daughter Deborah who I could make so happy if she’d return my calls.
Quotes from Arthur Miller’s “Death of an Influencer”
"Pop, I have no platform! I have no platform, Pop! Can't you understand?"
Other Movies Based on Hyper-Literal Interpretations of ’80s Pop Songs
"Karma Chameleon": A gay man falls in love with a faithless reptile who comes and goes, comes and goes.
Everyone Who Has Seen Ever Me Naked, Ranked
Bra-Sizing Woman: She looks young, maybe eighteen, and I wonder to myself if this might be illegal.