Jackets to Buy This Winter Instead of Having a Personality
Colorblock Windbreaker: You wear this athletic fit ironically because you are actually a struggling improv performer.
Tag: High School
How to Peg Your Partner: A Step-by-Step Guide
After the kids are asleep and your partner has put the Kindle aside, remark on the lack of sexual activity between the two of you. Your partner yawns.
The People You Will See at a Party In Your Hometown
This guy did not go to our high school. Who is this guy? Does anyone know who he is? He’s not someone’s spouse is he? Is he from our hometown though?
How Writers Throughout History Have Beaten Their Writer’s Block
Lewis Carroll (1832-1898 CE, Writer): An early adopter of a classic writer’s block cure, Carroll’s method was simple: drugs.
A Principal’s Tough Conversation with His Coolest Student
"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."
That’s Right, I Made My Super Cool Best Friend Laugh and Now Everyone at School Likes Me
Chad laughed even harder and called me a freak. It feels good to have a friend (jokingly!) put you in your place.
God Checks In on the Plan for You, A Person Who Is Not Drake
You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.
Advice to My Son from Beyond the Grave
And finally, my son, I will assume that at this point you have started your own Westworld recap podcast so as not to let my legacy die with my body.
The Honest Calendar of a 17-Year-Old Rapist
October 28: Buy easy access costume for Halloween rape --- maybe just go as a giant penis and forgo pretense?
I’m Writing Today to Recommend My Student and His Viral Fail Video
Though the dance move students modeled after “Bouncy Ball Fail” resulted in concussions, students all across the district are following their lead.
How to Make an Atom Bomb While Your Roommates Are Out of Town
Use a plastic spatula to separate the heavier U-238 isotopes on the outside from the lighter, fluffier U-235 isotopes in the center.
What Your Favorite Type of Apple Says About You
Jonagold: You really want to ask your boss for a raise, but every time you think about doing it, you throw up a little in your mouth. Maybe next year.