Prescriptions for Thy Modern Maladies From Me, A Plague Doctor
Phone Addiction: In the pocket where ye usually keep your phone, keep instead a hairy, spindle-shanked, venomous spider. Incur bites until cured.
Tag: History
A Plea From the Chair You Put Your Stuff On
The purpose of the chair is to hold the Butt. This has been the truth for eons, before you were born and before I was purchased from the local IKEA.
The First Recorded Instance of Déjà Vu
Utu dropped the carcass and turned back for the cave. Very suddenly, he stopped in his tracks and raised his eyebrows in surprise.
The USA is the Greatest Country in the World But Those Soccer Girls Need to Be Nicer
Competition makes the American dream real! But fighting to break records early in international competition while defending your title… isn’t classy.
Sports Quotes Informed by Political Philosophy
"That ball was on the line! And the whole question of borders comes from an outmoded hermeneutic treating the nation-state as a discreet actor."
Must-See Second-Rate National Heritage Sites for Your Next Roadtrip
Battlefield Of Nothing Special: where our nation’s soldiers duked it out for no good reason, and left a legacy that no one can put their finger on.
We’re Saluting Maritime Erotica All This Month on Turner Classic Movies
All Hands on Dick, a film that French director Georges Méliès called, “The most stimulating cinematic treasure since my The Conquest of the Pole.”
Awkward Conversations With Your Self-Driving Uber
You: Uber, why are we taking Broadway? Uber: We are briefly stopping at your ex-girlfriend Karen’s house on the way. You two need to talk…
“You’ll Want to Learn Guitar Immediately,” and Other Fatherly Advice
Now’s the time to fix your emotional, psychic, and spiritual energy on a single person who thinks of you as the weird and moderately asexual kid.
Robbing the Wealthy at Arrowpoint and Redistributing Their Gold to the Peasantry Only Leads to More Peasants
You never know what a peasant is going to do with that signet ring you slipped from the archbishop's finger while pretending to kiss his hand.
“SNL” Alums Remember the Awkward Encounters with Lorne Michaels That Got Them Hired!
Seth Meyers: "Lorne and his cavalry cast a weighted net over me and dragged me away on a dirt road. I knew my life was about to change forever."
4 Times the Winter Olympics Tried to Boost Ratings By Exhuming a Classic Movie Star’s Corpse
Millions tuned in to watch Jimmy Stewart’s body rocket down the mountain, reaching a top speed of 90 MPH and securing the bronze.