Holidays | Page 13 | Points in Case

Tag: Holidays

The Time-Out - Take a break from spanking your husband to go spank your children for not doing the dishes.

Shaggy interrupts Jesus to say that he is just like him: he doesn’t have bones, but rather, Scooby Snacks shaped like bones.

Karpas --- Eating the Green Vegetable: Is this the first vegetable you’ve had all month? We raised you better than to eat all that junk food.

One especially pleasing development is how Grandpa has started taking responsibility for his actions.

DENIAL: Maybe this isn’t even a legitimate cursed pot of money. ANGER: But--fairy fortunes don’t usually come with a blood curse!

Treat your Valentine to a fancy restaurant just the way it likes: put off making a reservation as long as possible so all restaurants are booked!

I spoke at the Republican National Convention for Trump! What more do I have to do to prove that I’ll do literally anything?

Graduations: Oprah in black informing Stephen Colbert’s audience that the tests are back and they all have chlamydia.

Maybe you’ve returned to your normal life and are back at work, arriving to a ghost town at 10 AM, taking a two-hour lunch, and leaving by 3 PM.

I have lived my entire adult life as if I were born in 1813 England as a gentlemanly Port Warden. And yet my uncle is the one called “old-fashioned.”

I apologize, she giggles and our shared weakness for Snickerdoodles suggests we will fall madly in love by Christmas. Her name is Lacey Sherbert.

It's confusing that this boy thinks a drum solo is an appropriate gift for anyone---let alone an infant. That’s what makes him so dangerous.