Holidays | Page 13 | Points in Case

Tag: Holidays

The Bridge on the River Kwai – Your dad thinks you should stand up to your boss at work. You say he’s a fathead, right?

Surprise him by mowing the lawn. Devastate him by ignoring mowing best practices and race around in a pattern as erratic as his spiking heart rate.

I am growing a long-white beard at a scary rapid pace! Uh-oh looks like someone might have the case of being magically transformed into St. Nick!

The Time-Out - Take a break from spanking your husband to go spank your children for not doing the dishes.

Shaggy interrupts Jesus to say that he is just like him: he doesn’t have bones, but rather, Scooby Snacks shaped like bones.

Karpas --- Eating the Green Vegetable: Is this the first vegetable you’ve had all month? We raised you better than to eat all that junk food.

One especially pleasing development is how Grandpa has started taking responsibility for his actions.

DENIAL: Maybe this isn’t even a legitimate cursed pot of money. ANGER: But--fairy fortunes don’t usually come with a blood curse!

Treat your Valentine to a fancy restaurant just the way it likes: put off making a reservation as long as possible so all restaurants are booked!

I spoke at the Republican National Convention for Trump! What more do I have to do to prove that I’ll do literally anything?

Graduations: Oprah in black informing Stephen Colbert’s audience that the tests are back and they all have chlamydia.

Maybe you’ve returned to your normal life and are back at work, arriving to a ghost town at 10 AM, taking a two-hour lunch, and leaving by 3 PM.