How Christmas Provoked My Dad’s First F Word in Front of Us
My dad cashed his F word chip in around my brothers and me with a salty, heartfelt "MOTHER FUCKER." All because he didn't know how to use a handsaw.
Tag: Holidays
Your 3-Step Recipe for Ruining Thanksgiving
Your job this year is to ruin Thanksgiving for everybody. Here are three simple steps to accomplish that: complain, criticize, and be aloof.
5 Thanksgiving Traditions You Can’t Avoid
Face it, what is Thanksgiving without the ritual night-before Wild Turkey blackout, chafed thighs following turkey overindulgence, and terrible children's artwork.
Your Five Empowering Halloween Imperatives
First, you're going to buy a pumpkin about the size of a keg of beer, and smash it on your patio. Then you're going to the library for follow-up Halloween exercises.
Five Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2014
Five things I’m looking forward to in 2014, aka “The International Year of Family Farming, Crystallography and Small Island Developing States.”
The Joy of Santa Casey
"I know it is Christmas Eve, but you would be going to kindergarten dressed as Santa Claus," my boss Sunny said. I accepted in an instant, and never regretted it.
Santa Baby, I’m a Materialistic Whore
What we've got here is Madonna, singing in a little girl voice to what could only be construed as her dad, dressed up as Santa. Or in other words, "GROSS, DUDE."
The 5 Stages of Going Home for Thanksgiving
If you're in the same sinking ship I like to call the "S.S. Thanksgiving Return," then here are the five stages you'll probably endure on your way to the gravy boat.
Five Alternatives to Microwaving Your Thanksgiving Turkey
Unfortunately, you can't microwave a turkey. It just won't fit! So here are your options for preparing the most important piece of your holiday puzzle.
Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2013
I for one am looking forward to watching The Vampire Diaries while fantasizing about Nina Dobrev without Mitt Romney or Barack Obama interrupting my salacious thoughts.
Staying at Home with Kevin: A Korean Christmas Tradition
Have a very merry Home Alone Christmas in Korea.
The Illicit Meaning Behind the Lyrics to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
It's time to overanalyze another Christmas song that you'll NEVER EVER be able to hear again without your mind going to a very dark place.