Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2012
Finally, we can enjoy the fall of North Korea, another plethora of "I Voted" stickers, and the most highly publicized apocalyptic failure in history. You're alright, 2012.
Finally, we can enjoy the fall of North Korea, another plethora of "I Voted" stickers, and the most highly publicized apocalyptic failure in history. You're alright, 2012.
Even as kids we knew Santa couldn't get us everything we wanted. So today, 28 PIC writers gather to unleash their personal "shit they know they're not going to get" lists.
My name is Copernicus Thunderbird, and we're all fucked if Christmas goes down the way I think it will. What you need to understand is that the Kardashians are going to destroy Earth.
As I stood in the woods digging the hole to bury the old man, I realized he wasn't quite dead. And that's when he told me a story of Christmas I'll never forget.
Things I want for Christmas: Jeremy Sisto's voice, Leonardo DiCaprio's hair, Karen Filippelli (assuming she's still single), Gift cards, Maybe some DVDs, Robert Downey Jr.'s aura.
A true revelation occurred when a friend said, "Dude, you're wearing jeans and a red flannel and you have a huge beard, why didn't you just do Super Mario?"
Speaking of Halloween costumes, it's kind of my favorite thing to come up with, especially phallic puns. This year I've decided to go as Premature Ejaculating Santa.
Holidays are supposed to be wondrous occasions to celebrate, but for the most part, a few come to mind that should be abolished and permanently etched off calendars worldwide.
2011 has the potential to be great. But first we need better WikiLeaks, another apocalypse, a rehabed Lindsay Lohan, and the death of Betty White.
It's nice to save my mom the work and let her relax on Christmas, but really, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the benefits of manning the kitchen.
<p><strong>A reading from the Letter of Saint Nicholas to the Grinchians:</strong></p><p>And the Sixth Angel broke the Sixth Seal and did release strange creatures, which did solemnly look not unto like a bunch of really high people cosplaying at a Comic Con. </p>
I love Christmas, and not just because it falls on my birthday. Here are ten Christmas experiences from most awesome to least awesome.