Why I Always Cook Dinner on Christmas
It's nice to save my mom the work and let her relax on Christmas, but really, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the benefits of manning the kitchen.
Tag: Holidays
The Book of Christmas Revelation
<p><strong>A reading from the Letter of Saint Nicholas to the Grinchians:</strong></p><p>And the Sixth Angel broke the Sixth Seal and did release strange creatures, which did solemnly look not unto like a bunch of really high people cosplaying at a Comic Con. </p>
Christmas Awesome List
I love Christmas, and not just because it falls on my birthday. Here are ten Christmas experiences from most awesome to least awesome.
The Top 3 Women to Date Over the Holidays
I've done the footwork for you and narrowed it down to the top three women that are perfect to date this holiday season; think of these as product reviews for pussy.
Halloween Headaches 2010
<p>Every Halloween I judge people and their costumes. This year I'm nine days late because it's taken that long for me to get over the Halloween beer, soju (Korean liquid death), and whiskey binge I encountered.</p>
Pre-Halloween Headaches
<p><img src="/files/u46/oct_31_09_2_021.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="300" /><br /><strong><em>(Beam me up, Scotty!)</em></strong></p><p>It's the first week of October and you know what that means...only two and a half months to shop until Christmas! Also, you should already start looking for a Halloween costume. And like<a href="/columns/nathan-degraaf"> Nate Degraaf</a>, I'm here to help.</p>
It’s Christmas, Ya’ll (The Pageant Every Church Passed On)
Everyone knows Jesus' story is a complicated one. But do they know tidbits like the fact that Joseph wanted to name him Rick? Get the fun facts in this unauthorized pageant!
My Christmas List
<p><img src="/files/u46/xmas_kc.jpg" alt="I kiss my Christmas tree" width="400" height="300" /> </p><p>So it's December, which means my grandma and mommy are asking for my Christmas list. I figured, maybe a few fans would like to make my holidays brighter by giving their most favorite writer/celebrity/studmuffin some awesome gifts. So here goes:</p>
Choose Your Own Adventure: Spring Break
The beginning of Spring. So much promise, yet still so much crappy weather and so much class left before summer. But there is hope on the horizon: Spring Break! A chance to visit a foreign locale! To start your vacation, Go to #1 now...
Las Vegas Spring Break Alibis
A list of alibis for the common events you will encounter during your Spring Break trip to Las Vegas, ensuring that your friends and family will never find out just how much of a monster you really are.
Episode 9: Oh, Christmas Pineapple!
Look out, ladies! The Man is on the prowl and he's hungry. Hungry for cheap drunken Christmas party ass. And for the first time in his life, he has a foolproof, non-fail plan to initiate conversation with the goddesss Mary of the Office.
Christmas Songs are Bullshit, Part 3: Holly Jolly Political Incorrectness
<p>After a few years of listening to this thing over and over again, I have come to some conclusions about the Christmas song <em>Holly Jolly Christmas</em>. And I know you'll be surprised to hear this, but I believe that <em>Holly Jolly Christmas</em> is a ploy by degenerates to get people drunk and taken advantage of. I mean, just look at the lyrics here:</p>