How About Leaving Some Milk and Cookies Out for Me, the Easter Bunny?
It's me, the least popular character to break into your home and leave stuff in the name of celebration. Let me lay it out for you.
Tag: Holidays
Biblical Passages on Jesus’ Resurrection as the Easter Bunny
1 Peter 1:3: "Praise be to bunny Jesus who is always, like, twitching his little nose."
Gordon Ramsay Reviews Your Valentine’s Day Date
I suppose oysters are a noted aphrodisiac, but even those could never overpower the terrifying sight of your lover’s haircut.
Careers Punxsutawney Phil Is Considering Now That Seasons Are Irrelevant
Stock Consultant: Honestly, this feels more helpful than predicting the end of winter anyway.
‘Twas the Night before Christmas, Uh, Four Weeks Ago
‘Tis several weeks beyond Christmas when you realize You forgot it completely—doggone it, time flies!
January’s Poor Performance Will No Longer Be Tolerated
The Ethics Committee has taken notice of how January has benefitted from gym memberships, weight loss medications, and black-eyed peas sales for decades.
Ten New Year’s Resolutions from a People Pleaser… Unless Ten Is Too Many, I Can Do Five Instead, It’s Really No Trouble
I resolve to say "No" more often to things like babysitting around the clock for my friends.
New Year’s Resolutions with Enough Wiggle Room to Ensure Keeping Them
I will run a mile every morning… but if my knee is acting up, I will walk instead… unless it’s raining, of course… or even drizzling...
Holiday Quiz from Your Favorite Auntie Who Is Secretly Plotting against Your Mother
3. List the toys/gifts/cash you received from family members other than Auntie Abigail. (Because this auntie can top whatever you got.)
Trivia About “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946)
After leaving his wife and stumbling out of a piano bar, George Bailey drives into a tree. Or as it’s also known, “The Billy Joel Trifecta.”
Neil Degrasse Tyson Ruins “The Night Before Christmas”
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, Although millions of microscopic mites which live in the pores of the skin will be out to feast
Christmas Songs Detailing the Sordid Saga of Santa’s Elfskin Boots
(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing) Hush! Santa will hear our plotting, He’s gone mad, brain is rotting. We should organize a coup, Before he makes new boots from you.