Hi! I’m Calling About Your Student Loan Payments, You Fucking Deadbeat Loser!
Are able to pay today? No? That seems crazy to us, because money falls out of the sky and everybody wins the lottery at least twice a year.
Are able to pay today? No? That seems crazy to us, because money falls out of the sky and everybody wins the lottery at least twice a year.
Better find a good cuddle buddy for "The Strangers 3: Come On In The Door’s Unlocked!", "The Exorcism of Celine Dione," and "Get Out, Please."
I've been informed me that the "sour ground" is the result of eldritch horrors, but in today's economy, you have to play the cards you're dealt.
Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Don’t let anyone see you almost cry after two rounds of this warm-up or you’ll get pegged as whiney.
How is communicating in sign language, walking on sand trails, or keeping your children in soundproof rooms, really that different from recycling?
"Fyre Fight": An anticipatory look back at the time-wasting Fyre Fest content wars of 2019.
We prevailed! We, whose skins are sensitive to the winds that whip through the lobby when goddamn Liam doesn’t shut the door—marched into battle.
Look in vain for a menu, it is torn and stained with tears. There are no specials, ever, only monotonous offerings of tasteless food.
Lemon Water (8:25 AM): This is lemon water do you copy?! We have reached the epicenter of your gut.
"West World" This title could not be more vague. West? World? You’ve lost me. Improved Title: "Beep Boop Yeehaw"
Honestly, rediscovering Instagram after dying and reanimating as the insatiable undead has really put me in touch with my humanity again.
“I served two tours in Afghanistan,” one woman said, “and I just thank God I never experienced anything like the horror you’re describing.”