Bob Ross’ The Joy of Painting an Industrial Society and Its Future
A painting or a bomb could cause the right amount of surprise and confusion to shake people out of their stupors, if you mail it to the right person.
Tag: Horror
Movie-Line Outtakes
"Favorite sled." -- Charles Foster Kane, Citizen Kane
Scary Campfire Stories for the One-Percent
Due to a new Harvard policy, your youngest son is unable to coast in on the coattails of a new building contribution. He ends up attending Reed.
10 Signs That You Are Not Watching the Movie “Gremlins” Right Now
5. You Are Not Watching Gremlins Right Now, Because You Are Too Busy Reenacting Scenes from the Film with Buckley, Your Friend & Butler
How to Break It to Your Friend That There is a Skeleton Inside of Him
When he starts pounding on the walls because he is scared and wants to run from the skeleton who you just said was inside him, you must act quickly.
Armie Hammer’s Rehab Clinic for Actors Who Had to Dance on Film Once
My therapy center is called "Hammer Out Your Dance Demons," and is funded exclusively by me and by none of my family’s $200+ million fortune.
How to Give a Stool Sample with Only 4-6 Emotional Breakdowns in 50 Easy Steps
28. Accidentally get poo on your fingers. 29. Question how humankind can get a person on the moon but can’t develop a less primitive way to procure stool samples.
An Asshole Tries to Fight a Fire
The jar banged off the window and now burning, fancy French grease is everywhere! Thank you Vicky! Thank you so much for closing all the windows!
Yoga Helped Me Stop Fantasizing About Becoming a Worm and Nesting Inside Jeff’s Ear
VeganBeauty1998 Nation, never stop smiling, even when your mind twists your need for intimacy into reveries about lodging yourself into Jeff's ear.
Your Boyfriend Wandered Off in Target! Find Him Before It Closes
20 registers, all manned by 20 identical managers. They turn all at once and, eyes glowing yellow, sing “Derrick’s not here! Derrick’s not here!”
Addressing the Allegations That I Left the Sleepover Early Because I was Afraid of the Movie
Why, if I supposedly love my mom so much, did I tell everyone, "My mom is making me come home because I have a stomachache, I hate her so much"?
Weapons of Mass Instruction for Everyone in Every School
Who's in favor of ending "gun-free zones" and replacing them with "free gun zones"? The answer to every question in America is "more."