All Our Luxury Hotel Room Bathrooms Are Panopticons Now, for Lovers
Our panopticon toilet utilizes ruthless social engineering to give you the most intimate experience with your partner.
Tag: Hotels
This Airbnb Is Definitely Not the Gorilla Enclosure at the Zoo
And you know what? What if this was the zoo? Would that be so bad? You would still stay here if the price was right.
Our Boutique Hotel Isn’t Like Other Boutique Hotels
You're in for a unique experience that's unlike every other boutique hotel's unique experience.
Welcome to La Fromage Glissant, the Five-Star Hotel with the Most Slippery Floors
We used to be a roller disco, and decided to pay tribute to our history by keeping the floors just as lacquered as they were in 1977.
Seven Pieces of Art I Purchased for Our Hotel That Resulted in Long Emails from My Boss
My boss said guests don’t want to see “gray smudges” while enjoying their complimentary light breakfast. I said they would once they read the essay I left by the bagel station.
Reviews of Baba Yaga’s Bed and Breakfast
The hostess had my children help her out in the kitchen this morning, chopping vegetables and stirring a great big soup pot.
Termites and What Else to Expect on My Houseboat Airbnb
The smell is totally normal. Nothing’s leaking. A lot of boats smell like this. It could be all the eggs I’ve been eating lately.
Unabridged Hotel Towel Rules
A towel on another towel means, “These towels are having sex. Do not disturb. The mating dance of the hotel towel is delicate.”
House Rules for Guests at the Cozy Cottage by the Charming Pond
We’re not real good at giving directions, so we suggest you stop by the quaint post office off Route 40 (or 14?), and ask for Hank.
You’ll Love Our Newest Resort, You Lazy Fuck
Our friendly staff will welcome you in the lobby, where we’ll happily carry your bags for you. Look at you pretending you’re about to help!
Groupon Deals Tailored to Your Emotional Breakdown
Spend a luxurious evening in a gorgeous Four Seasons suite with an ex lover of your choosing. You passed right through denial and into anger.
The Beachball at a Corporate Sales Event Experiences Ennui
I was a philosophy major. I can’t say my studies haven’t served me well in my current line of work as the beachball tossed at corporate sales events.