This Old House and Her Old Hedges
I could not bear the thought of the work required to keep my hedges looking as trim and inviting as all of those hedges my husband had bookmarked and shared with me online.
Tag: Houses
I Don’t Know How Else to Say This Kids, But Your Mom and I Need to Divorce You
Kids, there is never a good time to say this, but since it's Father's Day and you're both standing here without rolling your eyes for once, I guess now is good enough: we're divorcing you.
Statistically Speaking, Most Accidents Happen in the Home… My Home
Just last Thursday I was entertaining over 50,000 guests at my bi-weekly “Salute to Bear Traps,” which was meant to be just a fun, casual, and accident-free celebration. Oops.
God Closes So Many Doors Because He Enjoys Watching People Crawl Out of Windows
Why would God deprive us of so many great opportunities, only to subsequently offer us lesser paths to success? Why would He do that? Perhaps there's an easier explanation.
How Parents Set Babysitters Up for Failure
As a community service, allow me to dive into some hour-by-hour trends I’ve noted on the typical Friday night babysit, with a few tips for dealing with those trends.
My Illustrious Time in a Maximum Security Prison (Thus Far)
In just three days in prison I've learned so much, made and lost friends, gained literal and emotional scars, and grown as a person. These next 728 days should be a breeze.
The Week I Decided to Get Tough on the (Mostly Ecological) Crimes Being Committed in My 4th Floor Loft
The Occupant begins his own thorough cleaning of his apartment. Girlfriend refuses to help, instead deciding to go to the Farmer’s Market and then to a yoga class.
This is It, I’m Actually Going into My Crawl Space
My kids look at me and feel empathy for my plight but relief that the task is not theirs. I'm going all the way into the residential abyss.
How to Reinvent the Playboy Mansion for Seniors
Now that Scott Baio is 56, it's time to start making the Playboy mansion safer and more enjoyable for aging dirty old men.
The Vacuum Scares My Dog, and Damnit It Scares Me Too
I think it’s the two “U’s” when I type "vacuum" that turns my knuckles white and makes the hairs on my hands stand up. Oh, and the noise.
10 Easy Ways to Get Back at Your Annoying Neighbors
Ten practical revenge tactics to let your un-neighborly annoying neighbors know that "what goes around, comes around."
Please Donate to My Kickstarter So I Can Buy a Hot Tub
The goal of my Kickstarter is to accrue enough money to purchase a full-sized hot tub and have it installed in my studio apartment so I can bring in a flock of new friends.