Dear Landlord: I Cannot Be Held Responsible for the Coyote-Shaped Hole in the Wall
In this instance, the coyote was blasted through said wall following a violent explosion of his own devising.
In this instance, the coyote was blasted through said wall following a violent explosion of his own devising.
Ope, watch your head there. Cam likes to go in feet-first, but I prefer lying on my side and sliding in with my hands like a walrus.
Install a shower in there so he’s not hogging your family’s only bathroom while you sleep. His hair is always getting clogged in the drain.
How lucky are we to have a youngly Master of Business Administration as land-lord! Thou hast every right to levy rents from my labour.
- Several Loose Flashlights - One Omni-Seasonal Jack-O-Lantern
You ever pick up a felled tree in the woods? Of course you haven’t! That sucker probably weighs 500 pounds! That’s the stuff I’m made of, baby.
Now when you pop your bones from their sockets so you can scuttle across the floor like a spider, you will be met with clapping instead of screaming.
“Unless you’ve got millions in the bank, any form of routine maintenance is downright unaffordable.”
Make entering your Airbnb a confrontational experience. Rude, even.
Everyone in the house could be pissing at the exact same time, which is something you could do if you wanted.
Be tidy. If you have showered in body fluids, towel off before excursions.
"Cozy" -- The smallest possible apartment we could legally claim is inhabitable.