What Your Favorite Color Says About Everything You Are and Will Ever Be
Light Blue - You were born on November 17, 1994. You are 24 years old. You are male. If you were not gay before, you are now. No one knows it yet.
Tag: Illusions
10 Steps to Having the Perfect Conference Call
Reintroduce every person to ensure there are no people "ghosts" on the call. Remember that there will, however, be actual "ghosts" on the call.
The Existential Perception of Life at 6 vs. 60 Years Old
Age 6: Has pastel-colored hair to stand out in a crowd. Age 60: Spends $10 monthly to ensure ID theft protection and anonymity.
Contents of a Magician’s Pockets As Documented When Turning Himself In for Manslaughter
1 red/purple/blue/yellow/green/white/orange/red/blue scarf, nearly 30 feet long, covered in blood, possibly used as a tourniquet.
Suggested Career Paths for Your Ex, a Successful Deceiver and Master Manipulator
He spent your entire relationship lying and promising things that never came; he’ll fit right in amongst our nation's political leadership.
Similarities Between the One Ring and a Typical Smartphone
Facilitates voyeurism into the lives of others who possess similar units. Provides a platform that helps unite and embolden the forces of evil.
More Fun Facts About the Harry Potter Universe, From JK Rowling
All the bisexual students at Hogwarts were in their own separate, secret house called Smurgendurt. Their house colors were purple and invisible.
Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe…
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she reads the whole New Yorker article instead of giving up after the third paragraph like some people I could mention.
Monologues: The Death of My Hair and My A/C Euthanasia Machine
The great reviews it got were a combination of people pleased with its cooling capabilities as well as it’s craftsmanship as a self-death machine.
Those Mistakes Were Actually Art Pieces
"The Lonely Hand’s Solo; In Motion, 2017," for Ryan, whom I thought was waving but was not and does not recognize me and now I’ve made eye contact.
If You See Something, Say Something
If you see something, say something, but if you see it again, say something different. Talk about the weather or a book you just read. We get it.
Advice From One Mad Scientist to Another: Don’t Open That Interdimensional Gateway
I’m not quite sure how to begin but I know too well how it ends: with tendrily monsters eating your loved ones.