I Draw Him Naked First, To Preserve His Purity (By Dilbert Creator Scott Adams)
Before my pen even outlines his dirty, filthy Dilbert clothing, I draw the Dilbert naked first. To preserve his essence. To preserve his purity.
Tag: Illusions
This Fidget Spinner is Done With You Calling It a Fad
"It’s just a trend," say the naysayers, "they’ll fade as fast as Pogs." Well let me tell you something you squashers of sunshine: I'm not a goddamn milk cap, I'm the milk.
God Closes So Many Doors Because He Enjoys Watching People Crawl Out of Windows
Why would God deprive us of so many great opportunities, only to subsequently offer us lesser paths to success? Why would He do that? Perhaps there's an easier explanation.
Can You Escape the Footnotes of This Article?
Only those with great strength [1], wit [2], and magick [3] will navigate these footnotes [4] successfully. Can you find safe passage to the Citadel of Footnotes [5]?
I’m Positive My Origin Story Means I’m Going to Be a Wizard Anytime Now
The postage wouldn’t stop coming and my uncle moved us into a motel, but the wizarding world still found me.
5 Mind-Bending Pieces of Art That Will Make You All Like, “What the Fuck is Going On Here?”
If you've ever looked at a picture or painting and thought to yourself "Well now, that just can't be right...." and then trailed off in thought with your head cocked to the side, this article is for you.
Attention All Mysterious Creatures: Please Come Forward
If you're an ugly mythical creature and sick of hiding, I suggest you simply reveal your identity; I can almost guarantee that you will only gain from this exposure.
Harry Potter is a Figment of Your Imagination
Kanye West, who has never read Harry Potter, seen the movies, or known the general plot of the series, has declared that Harry Potter might not be real. Agreed, I guess.
A Magician’s Legal Defense
I have been asked how the woman ended up dead in a motel room under my name, Tony the Magnificent. But if I were to divulge this secret it would destroy the illusion.
I am the Mysterious “6th Beatle”
The world knows George, John, Ringo, Paul, and the apparent nine "5th Beatles." Well I am Henry J. Bradleighman of Bangladesh, the mysterious "6th Beatle."
The Volcano That LSD Built
After a 20-hour plus binge of cocaine, MDMA, and nitrous, I took a drop of acid. And right there and then I decided that I would build an active volcano on the British Isle.
20 Realistic Inspirational Quotes for Your Email Signature
Most of the emails you send on a daily basis contain absolutely no thoughts that could be considered "profound." So stop using ridiculously unrealistic inspirational quotes.