How to Politely Screw with Customer Service by Phone
I had no idea if my computer even HAD a warranty. But when have I ever let logic stand in the way of berating someone undeservedly for the sake of comedy?
Tag: Indiscriminate Crushage
The Time I Accidentally Climbed a Volcano
"Oh my dear sweet literal fuck that is a volcano I am on a volcano oh fuck a volcano is steaming under my feet and I am not a lucky person I am going to die!"
8 Terrible Shows AMC is Guaranteed to Green-Light
AMC made a show about competitive taxidermy. Which means they will literally accept any show in the world. So here are my pitches for their next fall lineup.
Six Workout Myths Busted
Before you diet, pump iron, or arm wrestle trains, there are a few myths about working out that I, as the pinnacle of human perfection, must warn you about.
How to Get Away with Shoplifting in Cross-Dress vs. Street Clothes (For Men)
How to shoplift as a man while dressed in normal clothing vs. wearing a frilly pink lace bra and absolutely fabulous crushed velvet leggings.
The Nerdiest Way to Get Drunk
I didn't want just ANY kind of deliriously drunk, I wanted to get Video Game Deliriously Drunk. Here are my personal experiences with nine gamer cocktails.
I’m Going to Kill Lions in Africa, Just Watch
I wanted to eat a lion, but I felt the primal need to get my hands on one myself. And there's only one place I could to that: so I flew to Sudan as a missionary.
Held Up in Morocco
I didn't want to listen to this Moroccan guard, but he was the kind of person I tend to listen to. The kind of person who carries a large gun.