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Tag: Jesus

The devil tempted Him, offering Jesus the remote, the devil said to him, “take this, and you may binge watch Game of Thrones.”

We revised the concept of “eternal damnation” and suggest referring to it as “be cool bro."

Nearby, a woman shits in the street. This symbolism is unclear. But I’m grateful for the diverse and unique ways that others connect with God.

From: Mike Pence Gracious Lord White Jesus, thank you for Chick-Fil-A. A family-friendly chicken restaurant that never uses the word “brea*t.”

Putting yourself into extremely dangerous situations isn't a sin. If you survive, your life is more exciting, but if you die, Jesus will be waiting.

The Musician: This Jason Mraz-wannabe thought this mic was for music, but ended up in a cafe full of comedians and stuck it out for some reason.

The internet is abuzz ranking the four hunky and hot Hollywood "Chrises" from favorite to least favorite. My rankings are more comprehensive.

Unlike Trump ushering children into his internment camps, Roosevelt likely said "please" and "thank you" before locking people up because of race.

4. While out caroling with your family aggressively sing, “make the yuletide straight!” when singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."

6. Hold Your Family’s Feet to the Fires of Capitalism --- Santa Claus? A soulless creation of Coca-Cola to help them hock a sugary beverage.

“Sufganiyot” might be a traditional treat, but it’s hard to pronounce, and makes you seem like you’re plotting an overthrow of American jelly donuts.

I plan to do great work today. Just as soon as I...check Instagram to see if that guy posted more dumb pictures of that thing he thinks is cool.