Entrepreneur Seeks Low-Paid Assistant to Read His Mind
We’re looking for a problem-solver with a team-centered approach and supernatural powers.
Tag: Jobs
Famous Authors Firing You from Your Job
Ernest Hemingway For Hire: Competent Shoes, Never Filled
An Honestly Bad Job Application
My degree in the Art History of Bookbinding has proved utterly useless, even in the bookbinding industry.
I Finished Making My First Batch of Chardonnay for My New Wine Company and I’m Looking Forward to Selling It in 17 Years
Once the chardonnay finishes aging in early 2039, we need a little more labor out of you before your first check.
Amazon Employees or Worker Ants?
- Sometimes the leader thinks they can fly. - Workers must work as fast as they can with barely any breaks.
Think You Got What It Takes to Join Our Gang, the Crabapple Boys?!
WHAT WE’RE LOOKIN’ FOR… YOU: - Enjoy tippin’ over hot dog carts for craps n’ giggles - Like puttin’ pennies on train tracks and watching ‘em smoosh
January’s Poor Performance Will No Longer Be Tolerated
The Ethics Committee has taken notice of how January has benefitted from gym memberships, weight loss medications, and black-eyed peas sales for decades.
I’m “John-At-The-Bar” and Whatever Billy Joel May Say, I Always Followed Corporate Policy
First off, my name is Jonathan. No one called me John, except Billy Joel. So were we really even friends?
Employees, Use These Tips When Answering Questions About the Global Supply Chain
Ordering things online and choosing in-store pickup rips an irreparable hole in space-time. The two cannot co-exist.
Lab Rat Resigns, Looks for Better Pellet-Dispensing Gig
My hours are long, there’s no clock, and my wages are… well it’s just the pellets, isn’t it?
“Would You Mind If I Picked Your Brain?” From a Zombie on LinkedIn
As a current job seeker, I would love nothing more than to find out what exactly those thoughts are in that big, juicy brain of yours.
I’m an Optional Cover Letter Requirement, Allow Me to Ruin Your Entire Afternoon
Before you roll your eyes, remember, I am optional. If you want to half-ass this job application, don't say I didn't give you the opportunity.