A Letter of Recommendation Template for Men Struggling to Date
After I wrote my friend Dave a letter of recommendation, his dating dry spell ended immediately. Now I'm giving you permission to use the same template!
Tag: Legal
Beginner’s Guide to Dancing on an Enemy’s Grave
It's really not fair to disturb the family of your enemy during their grieving process. Be patient and give it a week post-burial before you dance up a storm on the fresh mound.
The Handmaid’s Tale is Especially Scary For Me Because I’m Rich and White
Offred was forced to have sex with the commander again in front of his wife. Who treats white women like that!? Ugh, it was so terrible, because that like literally is my life.
The Wall Was Just a Racist Metaphor
I hear these liberals saying, "Look, President Trump hasn't done anything—no wall!" Didn't get that when I said "build a wall," it was just a racist metaphor.
Mark Zuckerberg Introduces Facebook Bona Fide for $8/Month
For just $8/month, Facebook Bona Fide will allow users in the six travel-banned countries to make up to 12 Bona Fide friend requests each month to users in the US.
I Don’t Know How Else to Say This Kids, But Your Mom and I Need to Divorce You
Kids, there is never a good time to say this, but since it's Father's Day and you're both standing here without rolling your eyes for once, I guess now is good enough: we're divorcing you.
You’re My Boyfriend Now, It’s Squatters Rights
Hey Ted, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we are legally in a relationship now, according to my squatters rights as applicable to relationships in the State of California.
How to Import a Dagger Without Getting Arrested
It is difficult to describe the expression on a security guard’s face when you run a backpack with a 17-inch dagger through the x-ray machine.
A High School Junior Summarizes Marbury v. Madison for Her Fellow Millennials
This bat-crap crazy, totes-negative aura around the election of 1800 was what made the whole Marbury v. Madison Supreme Court shiz-nit really hit the fiz-zan.
Upcoming Scenes from “Law & Order: SUV”
NBC aims to lock down the suburban demographic with their gritty new spinoff series capturing sport utility vehicle drama.
A Magician’s Legal Defense
I have been asked how the woman ended up dead in a motel room under my name, Tony the Magnificent. But if I were to divulge this secret it would destroy the illusion.
Driving Etiquette for the Future
Of course we'll have flying cars in the future. But there's more to driving than cars; there's going to be a whole new driving etiquette based on personal responsibility.