You’re Invited to Celebrate the 15th Anniversary of My Grudge Against Cindy
We both loved Avril and each other and had friendship bracelets to prove it. It would be weeks before I learned that she was a rotten, heartless liar.
Tag: Lies
Things Are Going Really Well For Me
I'm web famous! A viral video of me got over 2.5 million views. Look up, “total dipshit can’t find toilet in changing room, gives up, PEES himself.”
New Protests Groups Like Antifa You Can Join
Antipopop: This organization protests the use of the nickname "Poppi" for "grandfather," as well as the variants "Pop Pop," "Bop Bop," and "Boppie."
I, Skeletor, Lord of Evil, Have a Message for the Republican Electorate
No matter what I do, you keep supporting me. When I say, “I help no one but myself!”, you cheer! Why!? That means I won’t help you!
Reviews of the Moonlight Bed and Breakfast and Its Owners’ Marital Implosion
My boyfriend made the reservation and the owner almost wouldn’t let us check in because my name is Janice.
A Blue Apron Recipe for a Productive Morning
Take the shirt from the bottom of your laundry pile and sniff the underarms. Deem the shirt "not that smelly" and pull it over your head.
Ennui Tycoon: Turn Your Melancholy Into Gaming Currency
Make sure the infrastructure of your city is unintuitive and inadequate. Traffic will increase the ennui of your citizens.
Hey Bullies: Stay Off Our Beaches
How many times have you seen this: some jerk starts trying to drink all the ocean water because they don’t want the fish to have it.
The Many Alarm Clocks Unemployed People Wake Up To
10:00 A.M: A phone call! Could it be an inteview? No, just those Mormon missionaries you gave your number to during that “Who am I” phase in college.
Realistic Financial Goals By Age 35
Relationships are about one thing, and one thing only: affordable housing. Find someone who doesn’t smell too bad and lock it down.
God Sends Hate Mail to Mike Pence
As a result of that whole "free will" blunder, any direct divine intervention is off the table. We did, however, agree to a compromise arrangement.
Synopsis of “Like An Image: The Group Text Musical”
Andrew has a new response for everything (“Lmaoooooo Yes”). Ralph comes to back to the group text (“Sup It’s Been Awhile”).