Lies | Page 12 | Points in Case

Tag: Lies

What should have been a detailed account of how you navigated the labyrinth of deception and red herrings is forever tainted by an itchy throat.

Watching other people play video games on YouTube, crying, and masturbating hasn't helped you find anybody yet. So, what's the real problem?

As you point at Michael, his eyes won't stray from yours, but everyone on that jury will take note of the way you're dressed.

Spring weddings are the worst. So do as I did, and have another Winter theme: "Snuggled Up By the Fireplace While People Outside Freeze to Death."

Can I please just host this disco sex party in peace, without the dread of a Grindr message like, "Is there a face to go with your torso?"

Bureaucrats will waste zero time before pointing fingers and disrespecting the men, women, and children I'm about to systematically mow down.

This Mueller character, looking into "collusion," he's the worst of the bunch. Many sources have told me he's a draft dodger and sexual predator.

For six years I've preached the dangers of sins of the flesh, during which time the devil lured me into oiled-up twinks, otters, and glitter-daddies.

It's no wonder you stayed hidden from me all these years: you portray a real person better than anyone I've ever seen.

If I push hard enough, will this pen go into my brain? Will the Secret Service stop me? There's no way I'm leaving alive; I've seen too much.

While I can't speak for aliens as a whole, Craxtavore, Conqueror of Worlds, is a total dick. I can't believe Mom doesn't see through his façade.

I first became suspicious of my supposed 8th birthday trip to Disney after seeing tons of balding men and refrigerators, and no sign of Mickey Mouse.