Top 5 Books to Pretend You’ve Read
Minimal effort to appear as smart as possible to your coworkers, fellow cigarette smokers at a party, parents, and strangers’ cats.
Tag: Lies
Six Ways to Get Jacked, Sponsored by Dunkin’ Donuts Energy Punch
Dunkin' Donuts Energy Punch mixes the sugar and caffeine of a can of Monster Energy with the additional sugar of Coolata syrup. Talk about a jolt!
10 Really Insensitive Things You Should Never Say to People
Thank you for being so open and honest about your breakup. It sounds like there were many complicated factors in your previous relationship. So, are you ready to start sucking my dick yet?
“Compact Car Only” Parking Spaces: The Lies and Deceit
First they came for the handicap spaces. Then they came for the compact car spaces. Then they came for the entire parking lot and I had nowhere left to park.
Kellyanne Conway Defends The Joker, Dr. Evil and Jafar on CNN
"I think that it’s important to realize that Mr. Wayne has kept a lot of secrets from the American people, secrets that Mr. Joker, frankly, feels they deserve to have answered."
An Open Letter to White Supremacists from the Dead Jewish Guy in Your Mother’s Grave
In a concerted effort to protect our own from further desecration and prejudice, we secretly replace all Gentile bodies with dead Jews. Standard procedure within the Conspiracy.
The Cold Hard Truth About Snuffalupagus
So, you want the inside scoop on Snuffy, Big Bird’s best pal? Well, here’s the cold, hard truth: Mr. Snuffalupagus wasn’t imaginary at all, he was a crook.
If I’m Anti-Semitic, Why’d I Make Jared Kushner Senior Economic and Media Adviser?
The Jews are so good, they almost remind me of myself. Always dealing. So I keep Jared right next to me. Keeping an eye on him.
An Open Letter to My Niece About Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived to Kill
While it may not make for polite conversation on Christmas morning, it’s important nonetheless that you understand, Harry Potter is a degenerate psychopath.
PRESS RELEASE: Kellyanne Conway Clears Up the Question of the Michael Flynn/Russia Controversy
If the Mike Flynn Russia call did not take place in our Presidents sense of reality, either there is no issue as this is the only reality that now matters or it is not.
The Scourge of Sponsored Content (Brought to You By Snickers)
Honest, informative, unfettered journalism has been mutilated beyond recognition by a money-grubbing truth-assassin known as “sponsored content.”
Horny Bulgarian Women Looking to Fuck Near You!
I never wanted to be the jealous girlfriend, but the first thing I did when my boyfriend moved to Bulgaria is Google "Are Bulgarian women hot?"