25 Signs Your Girlfriend is Having an Affair with Donald Trump
Suddenly, all your girlfriend wants to do is play golf, hang around casinos, and insult people riding around in sub-compact cars.
Tag: Lies
Adulting: You’re Doing It Wrong
I realized that there really is no set code, instruction booklet, or manual on how to be an adult, we're all just winging it. Here are four truths everyone faces though.
Every Rollercoaster Line is Lying to You
The designers of rollercoaster lines want you to be goal-oriented, but they don't want that goal to be getting to the ride, just getting to new parts of the line.
The Myth of the Millennialosers
Drunk texting is apparently one of the habits of a millennial, according to the media. That is so not true of my Janie. When she is drunk she can never find her phone.
Why You’re Never Actually Going to Go to the Gym Tomorrow
Maybe it's my generation's need to always be entertained, or maybe lifting a heavy metal bar up and down just isn't my idea of fun. Either way, I'm on a gymless streak.
Shut the Fuck Up, You Did Not See a Ghost
No matter how many Americans believe ghosts exist, shut the fuck up, you didn't see a ghost or anything supernatural for that matter. Here's why.
That Girl is a Liar
She lies a lot, but not the normal lies about age, weight, and whatever so-called "ladies" lie about. No, she's in a whole 'nother category.
Lance Armstrong Has Always Been a Douchebag
Lance Armstrong is a an egotistical, hypocritical, lying, cheating, criminal, douchebag, drug addict... who also raised money for cancer.
Why There’s No Such Thing as Ghosts
The idea that we have nothing better to do, after this mundane experience on Earth, but to show back up in ethereal form and fuck with terrified people is upsetting.
Shut the Fuck Up, You Were Not Abducted By Aliens
Disregarding the Fermi paradox, the cosmic silence we perceive, and the fact that we're too boring for aliens to hang out with, you still didn't get abducted. Here's why.
The Four (and Only) Reasons Women Cheat
Barring the influence of roofies or chloroform, or revenge for you cheating on her/treating her like shit, these are the only four reasons a woman will cheat.
Your Teachers Lie to You
<p><img src="/files/u46/DSCN4380.jpg" alt="(a rare action shot of me actually teaching)" width="400" height="300" /><br /><em>(A rare action shot of me actually teaching)</em></p>