Life | Page 11 | Points in Case

Tag: Life

Live life to the fullest by watching documentaries about it. / Feel comfortable in your own skin because it’s a little more saggy now.

Karpas --- Eating the Green Vegetable: Is this the first vegetable you’ve had all month? We raised you better than to eat all that junk food.

CAPABLE: Coordinating and implementing first person shooter strategy and tactics / SEEMINGLY INCAPABLE: Separating laundry

Schrödinger’s Everything: If you refuse to look at your bank balance, you are simultaneously broke and rich.

She laughed, but do you think maybe deep inside she thought you were an idiot? Nah... Probably not. Anyway, no reason to hash it out at 2:32 AM!

We could brawl, and you might get off a few gunshots or blows into my ripped torso, but you can't make me take off work for two weeks.

So please tell me it’s a good idea to set a discrete fire in his wastebasket and blame it on his vape pen. That’s what I’m going to do.

As you enter the courthouse, you will get a trendy wristband. This unlocks special access to the “VIP Pit” also known as the “Enormous Waiting Area.”

I feel like Elvis when he returned to Graceland after 40 years of guiding climbers as a Sherpa in Tibet. That didn’t happen, but you get the point.

It is a well-known fact that only the most elite acquire specific, regional, life-threatening diseases as symbols of culture and refinement.

"A badass mama protects her child! Your belly will be full of pilates-toned gristle and blond hair after you’ve mauled Cassie from your mom group."

These uncovered trash bins might as well be a Bigfoot buffet. And one Bigfoot taking a dip in your pool will permanently clog the filter with hair.