How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Really Your Boyfriend, Or a Stray Cat That Followed You in from Outside
Does he sleep between 16-20 hours a day? Does he curl up in a cute little ball in a perfect patch of sunlight to catch some ZZZs?
Tag: Life
To the Man Selling His Dead Baby’s Shoes
What on earth caused you to decide that the appropriate response to this tragedy was selling your dead baby's shoes in the local newspaper?
There Are Some Things You Mustn’t Eat from Your Lounging Chaise in Rome!
I cannot dangle a peach in front of your mouth---the mouth from which all law is spoken to life---as you recline in your chaise.
Chinese Biophysics Researcher He Jiankui or God?
Most people aren’t comfortable with the genetic modification of life, but He isn’t bothered by what most people think. / He works in mysterious ways.
13 Things I, a 33-Year-Old Man with Zero Interest in Football, Find More Exciting to Watch at a Super Bowl Party Than the Game
Janice and Mark’s whisper-fights about their upcoming incomplete wedding plans. They’ve been engaged for 7 years now.
Pitchfork Reviews People in My Life
A Woman I Went On Two Great, Early-In-The-Game Dates With: An incredible, staggeringly original human being who just appeared on the dating scene. 9.3
Parent or Broke, Inexperienced, Mediocre, Slightly Unethical, Overworked Public Defense Attorney?
Clients call at all hours night and day. / Spend 92% of day negotiating. / Know a lot of stuff but none of it seems to help when clients are crying.
How My Mother Believed I Was Destined to Die as a Teenager
Becoming macaroni and cheese, a lifeless foodstuff, after too many consecutive meals of macaroni and cheese. / Aneurysm upon seeing a boob on HBO.
Litter Boxes: How Scooping Clumps Became Part of Normal Life
Of course it was beyond disturbing to me, especially at work, as there were litter boxes in all the conference rooms. And nobody seemed to mind.
Uh Oh, We Hired an Actual Rock Star for Our Social Media Position
And though he was quite charming over the phone, in-person it was hard not to focus on his exceptionally poor oral hygiene.
I’m the Ugly Sculpture Outside Your Office Building
I know you don’t get me, but there was once a time when people just like you would walk past and think, “Wow. That’s one heck of a sculpture."
Is No One Going to Mention That Harry Has Cloned Himself?
We must answer the question of how Harry, a man I once saw eat a Skittle off the men’s room floor, conquered the forbidden frontiers of science.