I Explain Social Media to the Ghost of My Great-Grandfather
"That resembles nothing of a telephone, and I should know, I once lost a beloved terrier to Alexander Graham Bell in an ill-advised wager."
Tag: Life
“Goodnight Loser” and Other Rejected Children’s Stories
Where Are They Now? Ghosts and Their Families / We Hate Each Other, Not You / The Illustrated Book of Lost Pets
The Rules of Power According to a Teen in Charge of a Roller Coaster
They don’t know how to tame the most popular coaster in Central Jersey. You do.
I’m an ENFJ, Unless You Factor in How I’ve Acted over the Last 20 Years
If we should be in the elevator together I'll be looking at my phone the whole time, but that's just because I have so many friends to keep up with.
In Loving Memory of the Beto O’Rourke We All Used to Think Was Hot
He is no longer the youth pastor you spoke with about the morals of masturbation too many times; he is the teacher that made you believe in bullying.
Sorry Cowards, But Normal Vases Are Cancelled
If I see an unattended Mason jar, you’re goddamn right that I’m filling it with marbles, lemon slices, and a few artistically disheveled wheat stems.
West 56th Street Daycare & Nursery School: Admissions Intro and Course Catalog
So long as your child has no criminal convictions and a clean employment record, he should have no trouble obtaining the ranking of “Top Secret.”
Don’t Get Mad, Get “Even Stevens” on Blu-Ray
A timeless piece of television, "Even Stevens" demonstrates the trials and tribulations of being “imperfect” in a seemingly perfect world.
How to Meditate in Spite of Your Stab Wounds
An amazing opportunity to find quiet time and space for spiritual healing is as you sink to the ground clutching a fatal stab wound.
5 Friends You Got to Keep in the Divorce
Karen is your oldest friend! She’s told you time and time again since college “I always knew Mark wasn’t the guy for you!”, and boy was she right!
Voice Memo from Tech Billionaire to Their Personal Assistant
My brother's birthday is on the 23rd. Find me an artisanal root vegetable farmer that delivers overnight to Thailand.
You’re Ready to Be a Parent, Aren’t You?
After living the bore of your nine-to-five stability, you’re ready for some extra, life-long, exciting (did I say “life-long”?) responsibility.