A Letter to the Four Jars of Moldy Salsa Found at the Back of My Fridge
I hope that you will find comfort that while you are headed to the great serving bowl in the sky, your work on Earth will not be forgotten.
Tag: Life
Don’t Even Think About Surgically Replacing Your Face with That of the Man Who Killed Your Son Without Buying My “Art of Speedboat Combat” DVD Box Set
Once you've put on his face, the propellers are in motion--in two days you'll be in a high-octane boat chase with the man who shot your beautiful boy.
My Mid-Flight Roast of Our Pilot Was Ruined When the Air Marshal Heckled Me
When the captain misspoke and said “tur-buh-lence,” instead of “turbulence,” I was like a shark smelling blood in the water.
The Public Bike Repair Creators Bring You Other Equally Useful Fix-It Stations
Public Father-Son Relationship Repair Stations: A stern daddy figure who’s really a teddy bear is waiting to surprise you with a big, warm hug.
Sure, My Parents May Be the King and Queen of a Small Country, But I’m Not the Least Bit Privileged
People tell me I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but that’s not true at all. It was bronze.
Welcome to Your Life as My Child!
Welcome to your life! You’ve been lucky enough to draw the sought after white, middle-class, dual-working parent scenario.
Amy Vanderbilt’s Dos and Don’ts of Impeachment Etiquette
Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.
An Open Letter to the Guy in the Subway Playing the “Rocky” Theme on the Melodica as I Carried Two Bags of Groceries
One minute I was thinking, did I need to buy a bag of tangelos? But the next minute I was hearing the uplifting strains of your enchanting song.
Please Stop Using Me, A Polar Bear, As the Poster Child for Climate Change
I wanted to send an official cease and desist but my lawyer melted in 2016 so now I have to speak for myself.
I, the Kid Who Always Slept Through Your Freshman English Class, Would Like to Connect on LinkedIn
Who better to speak to my abilities than someone who was around me during my formative years, which I spent using Romeo and Juliet as a pillow?
Recently Discovered Letters: USPS Collection Notices to Eminem’s Stalker “Stan”
Truth is, all of us at USPS are trying to reach you/Because you checked off premium shipping without paying for that feature.
I Will Not Apologize for Wearing My Sleep Apnea Mask to Our Third Date
Also, need I remind you, I didn’t try to lasso the waiter with it---I did lasso the waiter with it.