Life | Page 25 | Points in Case

Tag: Life

This secret menu item is complicated, multi-layered, bold, and bitter: it’s perfect for the starving artist (because it’s got 12 grams of protein).

“D-Did I leave my Chapstick over here?” Meadowbrook blurted. “Oh!” She said. “If you did, I haven’t seen it. Maybe it floated out of your pod?”

New Yorker cartoons: You love The New Yorker. You READ The New Yorker. But 9 times out of 10 you buy The New Yorker for those sweet, sweet cartoons.

Let’s acknowledge that I’m the only person in this company with a catchphrase. The comedic effect of “cowabunga, dude!” is enhanced by repetition.

Now I heard you’re even talking about me in therapy? I was hoping you’d move on by now, since you’re in your mid-thirties and all.

Despite his many attempts, your ex will never so much as FaceTime with Mia, because her iPhone “can’t take calls outside the Pacific Time Zone.”

Cheryl senses my sadness/frustration/anger/anything-cry-worthy-even-if-it’s-just-a-movie and will suddenly be on my doorstep with brownies in hand.

My lifeboat has sprung several leaks. They pale in comparison to the multitude of plot and character holes in this final season.

Now’s the time to fix your emotional, psychic, and spiritual energy on a single person who thinks of you as the weird and moderately asexual kid.

The meaning of life is being in a bathtub, no matter what the circumstances are. It’s joining a group to roll a beached whale back into the sea.

There’s no way I could have been dumped. I was in the prime of my life—I had a t-shirt for every major beer brand and I drove a Pontiac Grand Am.

You wouldn’t take away my memories just because all of your memories of Mr. Bawk Bawk are of the CEO standing over your wife’s lifeless body?