Holiday Season Tipping Etiquette For 2018
BARBER: It is customary to tip your barber $15 for each person who complimented your haircut and then immediately had sex with you.
Tag: Life
Five People on Your Holiday Shopping List Who Would Want My Copy of “Timesplitters 2”
Your Rabbi: The Talmud teaches many things, but it doesn’t teach how to destroy the attack helicopter on the roof of the “Oblask Dam” level.
How Can We Be Expected to Fear the Grinch If He’s Never Even Taken a Man’s Life: An Editor’s Note to Dr. Seuss
Nobody just carves a roast beast like that. Not without training. This guy has combat skills. Probably ex-marine gone rogue. Let’s see him in action.
21 Clever Ways to Hide Your Budding Homosexuality While Home for the Holidays This Year
4. While out caroling with your family aggressively sing, “make the yuletide straight!” when singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."
“Eat, Pray, Love” Your Festivus
“If you could clear out all the space in your mind, you’d have a doorway.” Enter the airing of grievances!
10 Things You Should Know Before You Go Back to Your Hometown for the Holidays
Your mom and I have been having some money issues, so we're hoping you don't mind sleeping in the basement. We've got a boarder now named Lorraine.
Upcoming Hallmark Christmas Movies for the 2018 Season
"The Christmas Countdown": A group of photogenic children frolic by a fireplace and repeatedly exclaim "It's almost Christmas!" for 87 minutes.
A Funeral Director’s Guide on How Best to Die
When you die, it won’t likely be a bunch of vultures or a serial killer who see you last. It will be me, your friendly neighborhood mortician.
Notes From Pantone Considering Which Shade of Taupe to Name 2019 Color of the Year
Bereft Muskrat: “Too hopeful.” “Muskrats evoke something too adorable to be considered appropriate for 2019, even if they are bereft.”
New York City Sights to See During Your Next Emotional Breakdown
Your emotional stability is hanging by a thread? Well, so is the Dow Jones Industrial Average, baby!
Wines That Pair Well With Your Terrible Life
Gewurztraminer and Running Over A Deer: It’s fruity, aromatic, and perfect for nervously sipping on the side of the road.
Chapter One of My Autobiography, Written in Advance to Free Up Time When I’m Extremely Busy
How did I make this unexpected transformation from amateur writer to entrepreneur-scholar-travel blogger-Harlem Globetrotter?