Reviews of the Moonlight Bed and Breakfast and Its Owners’ Marital Implosion
My boyfriend made the reservation and the owner almost wouldn’t let us check in because my name is Janice.
Tag: Life
Your New Stress Reducing, Anxiety Relieving, Weighted Blanket
My parents got me this as a housewarming gift but I still live with them. Does this mean they want me to move out?
Predict How Alone You’ll Die
2. You thought your invitation to Megan’s bridal shower was coming, only to see two other women just Insta'd photos from the shower. What do you do?
How to Befriend an Introvert: An FAQ
Will my introvert get along with other introverts? Absolutely! Tenderly move them to a safe space for them to bond over their feelings or whatever.
Scary Campfire Stories for the One-Percent
Due to a new Harvard policy, your youngest son is unable to coast in on the coattails of a new building contribution. He ends up attending Reed.
Announcing Our Official Decision Regarding Whether or Not to Have Children
Relatedly, I’m currently embroiled in a legal battle to divorce myself from my siblings to guarantee that I cannot be made an uncle against my will.
So You Wanted to Leave a Voicemail for Someone But They Picked Up the Phone
Drop your phone in the toilet: This makes you look cool, because every Millennial’s done it at least once in their aimless, self-serving lives.
Eulogies for the Houseplants My Dumbass Essentially Murdered
Einstein was a Ponytail Palm that my sister got me. Like the Einstein from Science, this Ponytail Palm had an eccentric intelligence, but no grace.
My Inner Voice is a Fat Guy Named Steve
I want to do well, but every time I sit down to work, Steve makes me go on the internet and google “soccer stats” and “boobs” until the day is done.
The New Pokémon Game Should Let Players Catch the Most Amazing Thing of All: A Pledge to Lead a Chaste Lifestyle that Honors Our Creator
"Catch” implies the game will be like the original, instead of my better idea for an abstinence-focused game. The slogan should mention doing chores.
I Am Your City Council Representative, and Your Concerns Matter to Me
As an upstanding member of this community, I hope you’ll believe me that I am, definitively, a human flesh man, and not any kind of insect homunculus.
Where Are They Now? The Stars of Jurassic Park
Adopting the moniker Steg For More, Larsson’s first album produced the song “Leggo my Steggo,” which hit #5 on the Australian Billboard Top 100.