Why is My Watershed Not Having a Watershed Moment?
Powerful men are being held accountable for their despicable actions in watershed moments, but are we forgetting about true watersheds?
Tag: Life
I Feel Like I Didn’t Really Take Advantage of Tom Petty as Much as I Should Have While He Was Still Alive
Here we are, only weeks into the part of my life when I remembered who Tom Petty was, and he was taken from me. Or should I say, that I was taken from him.
How to Network (With Your Parents) in Hollywood
With famous parents, you have the advantage of not needing to beat around the bush and pretend to be considerate of their feelings; you can just ask them for a job!
Why I Love “The Handmaid’s Tale”: A Review by Michelle Duggar
I thought I was good at dressing my body like a burlap sack of potatoes, but I have been outdone! Women are all just floating heads with robot arms.
As a Proud Roman Patrician, I Hereby Denounce the Gladiators Protesting Emperor Caligula
Outrageous! Gladiators have been engaging in vile political protest by quietly bending to their knees rather than showing proper tribute to our Empire and dear Emperor Caligula.
Everything I Hate About My Favorite Movie, Frozen
Why don't Elsa's gloves freeze when she's wearing them? Those manacles they clapped onto her hands when she was in prison sure froze though, didn't they?
Don’t Underestimate Me, I’m an Absolute Madman
"I CAN'T DO THIS! I'M NOT A HERO!" I screamed, but then I turned around and looked into the eyes of a nation of adorable, hairless little Pygmies who believed in me.
Feel Good Grub, The Ice Cream for Emotionally Unstable People
Whether you're getting through a tough breakup, have low self-esteem, or just lack self control, Feel Good Grub is perfect for piggy little stress eaters like you.
I’m Finally Going to Get My Shit Together and Back Up My iPhone
This time I'm really going to buckle down and clean up my digital clutter. But not before I add some dream vacation spots to my Pinterest board.
If Humans and Animals (Excluding Reptiles) All Worked Together, We Could Really Crush Our Enemies the Reptiles
Though amphibians aren't really reptiles, I've lumped them in because there doesn't seem to be a discernible difference at a glance, so they might as well just be reptiles.
Help! I’m 7 and I’m Lost Forever in This Kmart
Welp, this is how it all ends. If there's some sort of service to remember me, please have them mention my karate belts.
Top 5 Books to Pretend You’ve Read
Minimal effort to appear as smart as possible to your coworkers, fellow cigarette smokers at a party, parents, and strangers’ cats.