Ask Dracula Anything
Hello, it is me, your unholy host! I am here to answer the questions of the living, the dead, and the undead. Call in now while the moon is still full and the sun is yet to rise…
Tag: Life
This is It, I’m Actually Going into My Crawl Space
My kids look at me and feel empathy for my plight but relief that the task is not theirs. I'm going all the way into the residential abyss.
I’ll Never Forget You or Your Wild Accusations, But I’m Still Moving Out
What juvenile fun we had competing for the same man's attention while he was my boyfriend. A game of cat and mouse indeed, as you called it.
An Idiot’s Guide to Grieving After an Acquaintance Dies
As you get older, more of your acquaintances will die, and you'll get better at saying the right things in public. But the first time it happens, it's a little awkward.
Flying High in the Xanax Skies
Where was I? How high is high? Why was I sitting there? Had I been sleeping the whole time? Is all of life a dream, as Descartes once suggested?
7 Things Your Guidance Counselor Isn’t Going to Tell You in High School
When you’re young, life gives you promise and hope, maybe even "love" in your heart, At this point, you must realize that your feelings mean nothing.
The Six Stages of Life According to the AARP Mail You’re Currently Receiving
Whatever fancy stuff you’ve been told about the progression of aging, is in reality too complicated. The real lies in your AARP mail.
7 New Year’s Resolutions Guaranteed to Protect and Defend “The American Way”
To me, Buck Crimshaw, your friend and trusted ally in the fight to right this damn ship we call the U.S.S. United States of America, it’s all about looking forward.
12 Things to Assure Your Seasonal Holiday Depression Kicks In
Remember, every log you place on the fire would undoubtedly be screaming if it had a voice.
The Good Life with My Rich Wife
Janine, love of my life, woman of my dreams, hired a ball grabber for me. I didn't even know those women existed until I met her.
God’s Debut Column on NYTimes.com
We at the NYT are thrilled to provide a forum for Our Lord to share His divine wisdom, advice and insight into the people and events that have shaped history.
6 Planets Life on Earth Came From
All DNA and RNA on Earth arrived via meteorites and comets. Here are the strange origins of some of the familiar things around us.