Am I Turning Into My Dad?
"My head is too big to fit into women's frames," I told the eyecare associate. "But it’s still not big enough to break the glass ceiling."
Tag: Life
The Stages of Grief as They Apply to the Time You Microwaved Your Hot Dog for Way Too Long
So you burnt your weiner and almost burned down your kitchen. Perfect time to learn how to cope with life's tragedies.
5 People I Hate on the NYC Subway
I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that no one gets on the subway to make friends. Go away, Overly Social Dude.
Kids These Days: Can We Go Back to Non-Murdery Anger and Revenge Techniques?
Kids need to learn that the old school tactics of not killing a person, but killing their will to live, is much safer and rewarding.
The REAL Ultimate Guide to Making Adult Friends
Making adult friends can be difficult. But I've broken the process down into six easy steps that will catapult you into social butterfly status before you even know it!
How Fat Monk Syndrome Changed My Life
Monks used to represent every lifestyle I could only dream about and deride myself for being too unfocused to embrace. Now I just feel bad for extreme lifestyle people.
Maximize Your Life with the Rapid Immortality Plan!
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why do I have to die?” Well, let me be the first to tell you that you’re not alone in your morbid fascination with your own mortality.
Revel in Pointlessness
Appreciate pointlessness more. Too often it gets shunned and/or kicked to the curb like trash on a street. Undeservedly, it is saddled with a bad, misconstrued reputation.
How to Look for the Positive in Everything But the Test Results
We can all look back at ourselves and choose to regret or be embarrassed by what we've done, or we can say, "I met a lot of interesting people in that cult."
Advice for Every Age from 1 to 20 Years Old
<p>With my birthday less than a week away, and as the horrifying age of ** approaches like I would Kevin Bacon (barring the restraining order)... you know, slow at first as I don't want to startle him, but with increasing prowess and Kenny Loggins' "Footloose"<em> </em>playing in the background as I pounce... where was I going with this?
Three Worthless Insights Worth Remembering
Don't lie on the street and have a construction worker ride his jackhammer and drive the sharp-edged side into your forehead. Shocking, I know.
Two Years of Guilty Pleasures and Questionable Decisions
I should probably tell the biggest news of all: I am SO totally over any and everything Twilight-related. I'm also a Taylor Swifter and new home- and dog-owner.