Everything at Area 51, Besides the Aliens
Bigfoot, Chupacabra, but not Mothman (he’s a real jerk)
Tag: Lists
An Updated Tax Write-Off Worksheet, by the Nosiest Employee at the IRS
Did you receive Venmo payments from your ex (Handle @MattDereklol46) AFTER you broke up on July 23, 2021?
Stick and Stones May Break My Bones, but There Are a Bunch of Words That Will Hurt Me
Or the words are about something I feel self-conscious about, like my underbite or my current living situation with my parents.
A List of Numbers Lower than My Monthly Student Loan Payment
5: Percentage of my college tuition covered by the inaugural Just a Taste of Hope Ayn Rand Memorial Scholarship.
Are You Ordering a Drink at a Crowded Bar or Picking Up Your Meds from the Local Pharmacy?
Random people keep jostling you to get to the front of the amorphous blob you’ve been waiting in for 30 minutes.
What Writers Are Like, Based on Stock Photos of Writers
A scribe’s only acceptable wardrobe is a good collared shirt or sensible cardigan, or a collared shirt under a sensible cardigan.
Hey, Do You Have an ETA Yet?
If you were one character from Lord of the Rings, who would you be? I’d be Gandalf because, like he says, “a wizard is never late,” lol.
14 Cute Signature Wedding Cocktails That Say “I Give It a Year”
The May-Decemberita: Sherry with a sprinkle of Molly.
How to Tell If That Guy Who Desperately Needs a Kidney Like-Likes You
He asks you about yourself, things like, “Can you give me a kidney?” and, “So how’s about that kidney?”
Boomer Anthems Reimagined by Millennials
I Got You Babe (And By “You” I Mean Rude Comments on Your TikTok)
Secret Menu from the Long John Silver’s Next to an Apartment That Sells Adderall
The "Definitely Not Adderall" Meal ($54.99): A taco shell with six tablets of Adderall in it.
Comments from the Audiologist That Show You’re Massively Failing Your Hearing Exam
You are pressing the button so hard that the spring mechanism has failed. Please stop pressing someone else’s button.