How to Explain the Pandemic to Young Children, Using Classic Picture Books
May 2020: The Tale of Peter Rabbit - Wherein we root for the villainous Mr. McGregor, because we know too well how much his backyard garden means.
Tag: Lists
Self-Assessment: How Electable You Are for President Based on Your Religion
CHRISTIAN-CATHOLIC: Oh wow. Not a great choice. Sure, Catholics are technically Christians, but today’s voters require that you be "saved."
Virus Solutions We Have Yet to Try
Spreading a nasty rumor about the virus - Yes, this is distasteful. Nasty, even. But lives are at stake, and we can make the virus feel unwelcome.
What Your Favorite Philosopher of Modern Logic Says About Your Parenting
Georg Cantor: Although your partner has never said "OCD" out loud, you feel judged while ironing every pair of your toddler's striped Burberry socks.
Porn Options for Dads
Slow, seamless unboxings / Understated Nextdoor heroics / Horny locals making out to FiveThirtyEight podcast / Vintage SkyMalls
Silicon Valley Startup or the Hårga, the Pagan Cult from Midsommar?
They swear they make some sort of product here, but all you see is a lot of eating, prancing, and day drinking.
What the World War II Movie Your Father Wants You to Watch Together Says About Your Relationship
The Bridge on the River Kwai – Your dad thinks you should stand up to your boss at work. You say he’s a fathead, right?
Your County’s Updated Re-Opening Plan
Stage 3d: CDC advises to pick whichever conflicting news article or random blog post best matches your level of paranoia or recklessness.
NYC Department of Health Recommended Sex Positions for COVID-19
The Bronx Bondage – Tie your partner up, and just leave them there. Nothing is hotter than the anticipation. We condone being a tease.
Veiled Muslim Woman or Woman Wearing a Face Mask During a Pandemic?
Unsure if fogless sunglasses are a thing. / Expects to walk past a construction site without being catcalled.
John McClane’s Recent Thoughts on Defunding the Police
Do you know what you get for being a “hero”? Nothin'. So you might as well find a job that doesn't involve terrorizing low-income communities.
Ways to Reform the Agitated Bear in the Center of Town
We will ensure the bear sits through an hour of sensitivity training that contradicts the lifetime of violent impulses it has acquired.