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4. I was obsessed with it during puberty but more or less have it figured it out now. 7. I only feel comfortable with certain people seeing it.

Our "Purge Ultime" Face & Body Scrub will also eliminate the general feeling of shame that has accompanied your existence since puberty.

Friday Morning, Week 5 / Yellow Bungalow / Trader Joe's beer bottles (10) / Vodka bottle (1 pint) / Cardboard Pop-Tart boxes, cinnamon frosted (1)

Human Remains – Whoops! You’ve been living your best life for a few months and completely forgot about your boyfriend Carson in the fridge.

Health Benefits: You go to the nurse and it's free! She gives you lollipop when you leave and 6 pats on back for good job not crying over bill.

Unpopulated Island in the Sun / Stayin' Alive Until Extra Ventilators and Testing Becomes Available / Blinded by the Light from My Computer Screen

A struggling WNBA player - Of course, your daughter can absolutely be the best point guard in the WNBA! / Probably bisexual - Give her to age 25.

1876, Rogaine’s Custer’s Last Stand, “Scalp Issues? We’re For You” / 2005, Maxwell House’s Hurricane Katrina, “Good to the Last Levee Drop”

Q: Why did the lizard’s wife leave him? A: He had e-reptile dysfunction / Q: Why did Karen cross the street? A: To sleep with her boss

“Keep your friends close---actually, keep them distant, and your enemies distant too. Stay pretty much six feet away from everyone.”

Albert Einstein - Pencils. No erasers. News clippings explaining Relativity in wrong but hilariously wrong ways. Address book of actual relatives.

Day 27 - Fingerling Potato Sandwich... Use breath to warm four remaining potatoes, rip two pieces of old Amazon box into "bread" slices.