Lists | Page 52 | Points in Case

Tag: Lists

Simon says stand on one foot, while also juggling four frying pans and reciting today’s history lesson on the Battle of Bunker Hill from memory.

Do you promise to never fake orgasms or moon landings? Will you open your heart to your spouse’s family, friends, and cabals?

I'm using my little green thumb to turn up the thermostat and the humidifier at the same time. Now I'm using both hands.

Wilcox - Say hello to Wilcox! Your newest member of the household comes in Smoky Bourbon or Teal.

Where Are They Now? Ghosts and Their Families / We Hate Each Other, Not You / The Illustrated Book of Lost Pets

Wrap yourself from the neck down in Saran Wrap, and then ask a friend to spray lukewarm water between you and the plastic with a garden hose.

Increased Risk for Age-Related Macular Degeneration / 100% Not NOT That Bitch / Likely photic sneeze reflex

Can you show me examples of crimes against humanity the organization has been working on? Would I be able to represent ISIS at industry conferences?

I enjoy exercising now, since I can levitate over the treadmill while watching Hulu on my phone. If my BF asks, I tell him it’s supernatural cardio.

I remain perplexed as to the genesis of Igor’s strong opinions regarding the choice of which cadaver shall provide the penis.

"I got this weird monkey’s paw from some dude hanging outside of Port Authority. I was trying to buy weed and he said he had something stronger? Lol"

24 hours: A work acquaintance who could care less about my existence but whose validation I seek nonetheless.