How to Get to Places Other Than Carnegie Hall
How to get to Music Hall of Williamsburg: Practice, check into rehab for heroin addiction, practice some more.
Tag: Lists
Desk Decorations at Your Local State University
Single-frame comic mocking PowerPoints in attempt to dissuade their use by students, displayed above desk at which you design your daily PowerPoint.
If I Responded to Americans Like They Respond to the Fact That I’m Colombian
Wow, guns do kill so many Americans. But, like, have you ever partied with guns? It’s awesome.
Interactions Adam Levine Has With People Who Aren’t the Country Judge from “The Voice”
Eating brie, Adam, his wife, friends close and warm—it’s couples night. "No I won’t take my shirt off right here! No!" Adam takes his shirt off.
Shout-Outs to All the Special Guys Exhibiting Common Human Decency
How about a round of applause for the Starbucks barista who didn’t ask what else I like strong and hot on a summer afternoon.
Area 51 Raid Packing Essentials
A stolen bomb squad dog to sniff out the aliens. (They probably smell kind of like TNT.) Your grandmama Ellis’ necklace, so you can be buried with it.
TSA Guidelines for National Clown Week
Provide your real name. Slappy, Mr. Chuckles, Giggle Master, Miss Jiggles-a-Lot, and Happy Pappy are not legal names we recognize.
Is Your Nest Malfunctioning or is Your Brentwood Mansion Haunted?
Do your thoroughbred Tibetan Mastiffs refuse to walk past your Nest Detect Sensor™ into the the conservatory where your stepfather passed away?
Stellar New Trends in Anti-Vaxx Party Planning
Creative new ideas like Swine Flu Pig Roast and Cholera Clambake, for the modern parent who distrusts the Big Pharma but loves to spread Good Karma.
How to Break In Your New Hiking Boots
Explain that "Interpretive Trail Hiking" won’t have a steady paycheck and encourage your boots to instead major in "Pre-Backpacking" at Bootiversity.
Dos and Don’ts for Parenting When Your “Uncoupling” Involves His and Hers Restraining Orders
Don't ask loudly and rhetorically "See why I divorced her?" of the shoppers gaping at your unholy hissyfit over her congenital tardiness.
All the Reasons No One Attends Your Open Mic
Your open mic is in the gap between worlds, accessible only to the chosen, the mad, and people you like. So, it’s kind of a booked open mic.