Lists | Page 64 | Points in Case

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You sat in silence for 18 minutes after finding out your new barber was from Long Island, voted for Trump, and has amazing ideas for your stand-up.

I went back in time and it was there that Lin-Manuel asked me to help him with his play Hamlet or something that starts with the letter H.

Me, get into bed on my own? No, I simply must be picked up and tossed like a doll before unleashing these surprisingly-supple breasts!

Heartbreaking: This Makeup Tutorial Doesn’t Take Into Consideration the Fact That I Don't Leave the House

If you encounter a group of violent mountain people who threaten to harm you, please do not use your guide as a bargaining chip to secure freedom.

Feel the spirit of Hannity/Ocasio-Cortez in Mariah songs like "Can't Let Go," "You Need Me," "I'm That Chick" and "Up Out My Face."

All the bisexual students at Hogwarts were in their own separate, secret house called Smurgendurt. Their house colors were purple and invisible.

Get hype for "Damn It Feels Good To Be A State-Sponsored Social Media Influencer," "Obey Tha Police," and "Putin Said Knock You Out."

Taurus: The Seneca Park Zoo believes they don’t need a sign telling people not to swim in the polar bear enclosure. You will prove them wrong.

Resting Pitch Face – Appears on the verge of talking to you about his screenplay, TV pilot, or tech startup (avoid elevators).

RULE 22.0: Imagine for a moment a model train set circling without purpose—you’re the little plastic conductor.

Let go. Really, just let go. The truth will come. Sometimes a fart will come. A fart is just another kind of truth. #yogaeverydamnday