The Temperaments of Other Musical Instruments, Vis-à-Vis the Clavier
The Foul-Tempered Oboe: Quicker to anger than the clavier, will just as soon stab you with a double-reed as look at you.
Tag: Lists
Beloved Children’s Books Vandalized by Curmudgeons
CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG Pooped on My Lawn Again After I Specifically Told those Kids to Keep Him off It
Unexpected Items on Bud Light’s New Ingredients Label
Water, harvested from the tears of children whose daddies didn't mean to yell, but dammit it's been a long week, and he's told you three times now.
Survey: How Do You Feel About Being Black?
"For a long time, I didn't care. But now it's been six years since my last promotion, and that has me thinking." —Zachary Easton, Coder
Honest Headlines for the Unread Articles in My Browser Tabs
"How Climate Change Is Going To Make Our Planet So Inhospitable You'll Wish You Could Mutate Into A Tree Person From 'Annihilation'" —Vox
The Alex Trebek Jeopardy! Icebreakers That Were Never Aired
Fatima, I've got your college transcripts here. Russian Lit major, Proverbial Folktales minor, now a freelance assistant. So, was Oberlin worth it?
Signs It’s Time to Cancel Your New Yorker Subscription
You scan the "Goings On About Town" and bemoan your meaningless existence in some secondary city 790 miles from any actual New Yorkers.
New and Improved Musical Instruments for 2019
When you're giving CPR and their mouth is stuck petrified in an O-shape, so when you blow it makes them whistle.
Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe…
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she reads the whole New Yorker article instead of giving up after the third paragraph like some people I could mention.
There Can Be a Hundred People in a Room and Ninety-Nine Don’t Believe in You
There can be a hundred people in a hundred different rooms and none of them believe in you. Sometimes things just work out like that.
Sincere 404 Page Not Found Errors
Domino’s Pizza: We’ll be back in 30 minutes or less, guaranteed. Use the DomiNoPage™ Tracker app for live updates.
Why Your Cat Has Economic Anxiety
You're always freelancing from home, which means your cat has to watch you and dart away when you notice. So there goes her whole day.